Found porn on the TV

[Imagination32]

I couldn’t sleep so I went downstairs and wanted to watch some tv.
I randomly decided to click onto the internet option of our smart tv and there was two history markers for a porn website.
It’s only me, DP and toddler in the home. TV is 3 years old so I’ve no idea when he’s watched it on the bloody tv.
I am just fuming and I feel pathetic for even being this angry.
We had no sex in 2023 due to a very rough patch in our relationship, new baby and stress. We’re back on track now so I don’t think it’s recent.
Also why didn’t the idiot even bother to delete it. I’m pathetic aren’t I?
Would you be annoyed? Should I even mention it?

It's very hurtful. No doubt you'll be inundated with people telling you it's normal and everyone does it. Not everyone does and it's really shitty that we live in a time when it's use is so rampant, but it will take a lot of work to stop it if your husband thinks it's OK. It's so normalised in today's society...hopefully that will change in time to come as it is so so destructive to so many relationships. I can only relate and sympathise.

I personally have no issue with porn (as long as it’s not interactive ‘live’ stuff) but I’d be pretty pissed about porn in communal areas and on things children have access to. In fact I’d be bloody fuming.

If porn is a boundary for you then yes you should discuss it with him. You need to tell him how you feel and how angry and upset you are.
Personally I hate porn and I would not want it in my relationship.

I think it's very common particularly amongst men, and isn't an indicator of how they feel in a relationship.
I certainly have my own boundaries about porn.. like another poster I would not want a partner to be using live or interactive porn.. or paying for porn. I also think it's a problem if its an addiction or causing sexual issues in your relationship.
Everyone ie different tho and you are entitled to your own boundaries...
But what i would ask you is if you have ever actually expressed these boundaries to him? If you haven't then I do think it's a little silly to be pissed off that he watched some porn at some point in the last 3 years..
If this is something that bothers you I think you need to talk to him about how it makes you feel. How could he know it would bother you if you haven't had that conversation? Because it is something that alot of people do so he wouldn't automatically assume you would care.
If he is a decent guy and cares about you he will listen to your concerns regarding his porn use and reassure you.
As someone who has watched porn myself I can tell you it has had nothing to do with how I felt about my partner or my relationship. I have never compared a partner to anything I have seen in porn. And in fact nor would I want a partner to be like or do things I have seen in porn. Nor do i think porn is in any way as good as reality.
I do not ask my husband if he watches porn as I don't think it's any of my business really.. I would ask if there were reason to do so, like I thought it might be affecting our relationship or I thought he was spending money on it or cheating in some way with sex workers...
I certainly wouldn't feel insecure about it if I found out he had watched porn... it's not real it's fantasy. And I know from my own use of porn that it's not really comparable to real sexual experience and connection.
I understand you had a rocky time in the relationship and so that's made you feel a bit insecure but the most likely scenario is that it has absolutely nothing to do with how he feels about you.

You had no sex for a year. Now things are back on track. Why would you make an issue of him watching twice at some unspecified point in the past?

Life is to short to waste it on pointless arguments.

Most recordings have a date on which it was recorded. You may find that helpful?!

What?

Someone has watched Porn?

Wow!

Was it good porn, or that awful 70s stuff with the pastel coloured carpets and bowchickawowwow! music?

Reverse the situation. If a man found out his wife watched porn a couple of times after having no sex for a year people would be saying it's her business and he needs to get a grip. He looked at porn twice. Just twice in the 3 years you had the telly. I really think your overthinking this. Just because it's your boundary doesn't mean it has to be his too. It wasn't a problem when you were none the wiser.

I'd bring it up as a way as a reminder to not have tabs like that open on the TV as you have a child in the house. I can understand feeling icky about it but if things have got a lot better between you it's probably just worth having a chat about it and it will probably put your mind at rest.

I bet it was when the new telly first came in the house, see if the browser works, yes, ha look at that, and that was it. Two viewings isn't exactly a regular habit. Up to you how you feel of course and hope that you work out what to do that is best for you.

twice in three years? hardly shows he's a regular heavy user does it.

i think i would ignore it and move on.

He called me from work to check in asked why I was up all last night. I told him what I found and he’s immediately got annoyed and denied it. Quickly got off the phone and now won’t speak to me.
Why am I so fuming over this?!
and the fact he’s now denying it?

Well he rang back.
Admitted It was him and that it was years ago when we first got the TV. So @BlokeHereInPeace I think you were right.

Agreed it’s not something that should be on our family TV and said he genuinely forgot about it. I don’t believe he’s a heavy user and I’m just going to move on from it .

Given you've got a toddler now, it would have been when the kid was a bump or one year old? I think he was safe assuming that he wouldn't have been any risk of being caught at it and traumatising them.