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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please

8 replies

Irishblonde · 28/05/2024 17:08

Hi , I'm in my early forties and I've been chatting to a man online ,on and off for past four years , he's in his late thirties, first time we meant we had sex ,I know it was to soon but we were both really attracted to each other , I didn't hear from him for a while then he started texting me , I really like his personality, we would text on and off for months , recently he has told me that he loves me ,but he doesn't want a relationship yet as his last relationship really hurt him and he doesn't feel ready , he said that if I did date someone else he'd be really jealous and it would hurt him, I don't know what to do I love him but am I meant to just wait and wait on a recent text to him I asked him if he saw a future with me and he said here we go again I told you I love you but I'm not ready for a relationship, I haven't heard from him in over a week and don't know what to do as I miss him a lot any advice would be appreciated thank you.

OP posts:
Ilovemymusic · 28/05/2024 17:23

Block him and move on ..He is not genuine.

IfMichaelMosleysVoiceWasWrittenasMusicalScore · 28/05/2024 17:23

I agree, he's a user.

category12 · 28/05/2024 17:23

Dump him, block him, move on with your life. Date someone else.

He's being a dog in the manger - he doesn't want you properly, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either.

It's great for him to have you endlessly waiting, endlessly available for him.

It's shite for you.

Love schmove - it's just an emotion, you will get over it, you will get over him, and you can find someone who treats you well and loves you back.

Arlanymor · 28/05/2024 17:28

He’s keeping you in reserve which is shit. He can’t just ‘tell’ you he loves you, he needs to back that up with actions and he isn’t. I get it that it takes time to get over a failed relationship - I am nearly five years on myself and only just thinking about dating again - but you can’t tell someone you love them and in the same breath say you’re not ready to take things further. It’s nonsense.

MonsteraMama · 28/05/2024 17:30

The age old sage wisdom will always apply: he's just not that into you.

Honestly, he just wants a convenient shag option on the side while he continues to shop around for the one who will be worth sorting his shit out for. Sadly that is not you.

thistimelastweek · 28/05/2024 17:39

You don't love him. You love the version he occasionally displays. Emphasis on occasionally.

He's messing with your head and emotions and that's not good for you.

Do what's good for you and move on.

Faduckssake · 28/05/2024 17:43

Are you sure he's actually single? He really wants to have his cake and eat it doesn't he? You where he wants you, without having to commit in any way. You deserve better, bin him and find someone who actually wants to be with you.

unbelievablescenes · 28/05/2024 18:02

Christ he's a good one. I don't want you but nobody else is to have you, just in case I change my mind. Raise the bar PP, this guy is at it, royally!

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