Where are my friends when I need them?

[Inthestillnessofremembering]

I don't know if I'm letting things get to me because I'm an emotional wreck or my friends are really shitty.
My dad is dying. He's been poorly on and off for a few months with things looking bad and then getting better. It came to a head this week and we were told that the likelihood of him coming out this episode is slim.
I have a group chat of really close friends. Over the last few days, I've told them what's been going on. This morning we were called in to make sure we had seen him because things aren't looking great. I've not really been in the mood to talk today but for some reason, I feel put out that not a single one of them has reached out to see how I am or to see how he's doing. I haven't told them how much worse things have gotten today and they haven't asked. I need my friends to talk to but I just feel like they don't even care enough to even ask how things are. A few times I've gone in without being asked and explained what's going on, to very little or no reaction. This is why I don't feel like I can do that anymore. I feel like I'm being a burden by having these issues and just don't feel like I can talk to them anymore. I can't imagine a friend of mine going through what I am and me not reaching out to them. For all they know, he may have already passed as they knew it wasn't looking great.
I don't know if I'm just being overly sensitive but I really do need my friends.
Things to add. These friends are extremely close. We talk all day, every day on our chat. Most of us see each other 5 - 6 days a week.

Totally get it OP.

I have a few friends who have stuff going on. I message and ask how they are and get long replies back. I try and support them as much as l can by checking in etc.

I also have stuff going on (don't we all!!)... only one friend asks specifically about it. The others either don't ask after me at all or just do a generic "how are you.." at the end of their looonngg message to me. I just reply "I'm fine" ... if they actually cared or were interested they'd remember that I'm not fine and why I'm not fine!

My experience is that people are only sad about the death or loss of people they themselves truly care about. My close friends didn't care about my parents' death because they didn't know my parents well enough to care about them; they were not sad about my marriage breakdown because it was not their marriage and they weren't genuinely close to my husband. This doesn't mean that they didn't care about me and want me to be ok.

I think it is usually good to lower one's expectations about how much other people think or care about whatever is affecting you. Again, in my very limited experience, the only exception to this is parents and children; in close families, parents and children care about one another in this sort of way.