I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, im 23 and hes 29. I became unexpectedly pregnant a year into our relationship, he was so supportive of my decision and stuck by my side as a doting partner throughout pregnancy and postpartum he did alot, pretty much ran the house for a month after I gave birth as I had a c section. 3 months after DS was born he had a major mental health crisis, completely lost it and ended up in hospital, ever since then he has just been so all over the place its getting really hard to cope with.
He got a job working nights and on 2 occasions didnt come home, no texts nothing. Hes never done this before even before I got pregnant. He told me that he blacked out from his mental health issues and came to sobbing in a park. I then found drug paraphernalia, I took my son and went to my mums for a week, he begged for me back swore it had only been one time so i came home and said I would only be staying if he promised to sort out a therapist and drug councillor. Its been 2 months since he promised he would find a therapist and he still hasn't done anything, ive even found a list of people to look through and he just says he's not sure none of them seem right.
He's been out of work since the mental breakdown, other than the job working nights which I told him to leave as they weren't paying him and he didnt come home so I wasn't putting up with him going out at night. still most days sleeps until midday whilst I'm up with DS at 5am, I cosleep with ds and he sleeps in the spare room, has done since birth. I make him 3 meals a day clean do laundry literally everything. He then goes through this stages of being super helpful and doting, asking me to sit down and relax while he does everything, stays up all night to do all the night feeds(I've told him not to stay up) and get up with DS then the day after he crashes and goes back to doing nothing again. I just am really struggling to deal with such inconsistent behaviour and I don't want my son growing up with him being so inconsistent and thinking that's normal.
I just want him to be who he used to be, he was never like this before the breakdown and I miss how he was. I desperately love him but I just don't know how to move forward. Im back at work despite facing my own serious medical issues which I need surgery for in the near future because we are broke and hes not fit to work still, him and my mum are sharing childcare while im at work. and having my medical problem, raising a baby and dealing with his behaviour is just so intense I don't know what to do. I feel so stuck i just really need some advice.