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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was this deliberate?

8 replies

PopcornPop · 26/05/2024 19:40

Does anyone think this was deliberate. Last year my ex asked to borrow money from me. We are not friends and not close and don't speak at all unless it's about the children who he hardly sees. I said no as I thought it was a really cheeky request considering he doesn't pay maintenance. Anyway he asked if he could see our daughter on her birthday which was a few days later. I explained I was taking her somewhere, he asked if he could come and I said he could but he needed to let me know if he was definitely coming because I needed to book it (I asked because he is unreliable) he said he was definitely coming. I didn't think much more about the money situation but I responded asking if there was no one else he could ask as I didn't feel comfortable lending the money. He said not to worry about it as he gets paid the next day anyway. Daughter's birthday and he texts me that morning to say he wasn't coming anymore as he doesn't have any money and didn't get paid. Ex has a lot of friends and family so I'm surprised none of them would lend him a fiver to come to his daughter's birthday (it would have only have been for public transport as I had paid for the entry) contact fizzled out after that. He has been back in contact recently and accused me of stopping contact (I didn't he literally stopped coming down) when I pointed out that actually what had happened was that he kept making plans to come down then not showing up he told me he "knows he was being a prick" do you feel like that is him admitting that he done it deliberately (not showing up?) part of me genuinely thinks he did that because I wouldn't lend him the money.

OP posts:
ILikeItWhatIsIt · 26/05/2024 21:04

No. He doesn't show up because he can't be arsed. That's all.

PopcornPop · 26/05/2024 23:35

He was the one that asked to come though?

OP posts:
unbelievablescenes · 26/05/2024 23:40

It really doesn't matter, he's a waste of space either way.

PopcornPop · 26/05/2024 23:49

It kind of does matter to me because I'm convinced he does things deliberately to get at me and the fact he claimed I was stopping him when it was him that just didn't bother showing up I was hoping the "I was being a prick" was some kind of admission that he knew what he was doing and it was intentional but I see I am wrong.

OP posts:
blacksax · 27/05/2024 00:07

Stop giving him any headspace. He's an ex for a reason, and he was right - he is a prick.

bracemyselfagain · 27/05/2024 00:17

Your convinced he does things deliberately?

Why? To get in your head? To make you think about him? Make you think about a stressful situation he caused? Make you think about it enough to start a thread at gone midnight on a Bank Hol weekend?

Hmmm

PopcornPop · 27/05/2024 00:36

I've already said I accept I was wrong and he must have genuinely had no money and didn't realise until the day...

OP posts:
PopcornPop · 27/05/2024 00:40

bracemyselfagain · 27/05/2024 00:17

Your convinced he does things deliberately?

Why? To get in your head? To make you think about him? Make you think about a stressful situation he caused? Make you think about it enough to start a thread at gone midnight on a Bank Hol weekend?

Hmmm

And this thread was posted a 7 not midnight 🙄

OP posts:
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