I need your help

[Ccbow]

I was in a relationship with a guy for around 10 months. He isn’t an alcoholic but 3 times out of 10 months alcohol made him blank out because he drank too much. Anyway one night 7 weeks ago he pulled me which is classed as assault during a small argument. He had drank way too much. Anyway I ended it he hasn’t had a drink since 7 weeks he isn’t an alcoholic it just doesn’t agree with him he has said he’s stopping because our relationship means everything to him and it was the drink. I love him and I think he can do this I’m approaching it slowly and I’m wary but would you guys give another chance ? My friends and family know what happened and have all told me to stay away I’m just torn

Listen to your friends and family.

I wouldn’t. But I lived with an alcoholic and it was hell so my judgement is prejudiced.
Why put up with baggage like this when you don’t have to? I think you’ll always be waiting for him to fall off the wagon.

Why do you keep saying he isn't an alcoholic as though that makes it better?

Nope nope nope. Get out while you’ve not wasted too much of your time. Doesn’t matter why he assaulted you, just matters that he did. And if you take him back you’re only setting that standard that you’ll take it. Your friends and family can see the relationship/situation from the best vantage point - take their advice.

No, I definitely wouldn't go back. Listen to your family and friends. Alcoholic or not anyone who blacks out 3 times in 10 months has problems you don't need - and that won't get better, only worse.

What is your definition of an alcoholic if not him?. Not all of them sit on park benches. He only stopped drinking the night he assaulted you (and you only have his word to say that he’s stopped).

Stay away from him and examine through counselling if necessary what attracted you to him in the first place. You state you love him (what is there to love about him exactly?) but are you confusing this state with being codependent in relationships?. Your family and friends have your best interests at heart here and you cannot act as either a rescuer or saviour in any relationship. With him you will be both. Your boundaries here need raising urgently.

Do you have kids?

I’d give him one chance - just one - to prove himself. I believe everyone deserves a second chance.

i don’t have children with him no

He doesn’t crave drink and doesn’t rely on drinking every day or every week and go easily go weeks without it. But if he does drink it doesn’t agree with adhd. He can easily stop it and has said he would to have a future with me.
if he was like it without drink all the time absolutely I wouldn’t of even thought about it. But I was just thinking do I let him prove himself but approach it like I was dating not rushing back into anything

I meant do you have any children at all? My advice is different if you do.

If you have no dependents, then maybe take a risk and see if he stays sober. But the first time he takes a drink, end it again. Even if nothing bad happens that time.

If you have children, then do not take such a risk. You've no business bringing a violent drunk into their lives, even if he's trying to stay sober.

Or if you want children in the next few years, then don't risk him either.

To add. Not to be rude but the way you are making excuses for him now after 10 months I don’t think you’d be strong enough to leave him any further down the line. Get out now. Don’t try to prove me wrong.