Having great sex but not having much else in common outside the bedroom - bad omen?

[SaunteringCat]

I have been seeing this man for the last 6 months. Both in our early 30s. So far, the way it's been going is that one of us will typically turn up at the other person's place and we will have sex quite soon after that. The sex itself is fantastic. He is by far the best partner I've had in that regard. It is very energetic and passionate, multiple positions, and he always makes me orgasm each time we have sex. Outside of the bedroom however, we don't seem to have that much in common. We have completely different interests, hobbies and different personality types. I'm wondering if this means the relationship (if it even qualifies as that) has any real staying power. Should I just enjoy it while it lasts and stop worrying?

Yeah I’d enjoy it whilst it lasts unfortunately I wouldn’t consider it a long term relationship if you’ve got nothing in common .

Enjoy - stop worrying. Maybe try to find some common ground. Personally great sex is rarer than someone who pretend you have the same favourite author

So what happens before/after sex? Do you go out, chat, eat together etc? Or is it just you two meet and have sex and that's it?

How much time do you spend together, does it feel like a relationship or friends having sex?

I've been with someone a few months and the sex is way less of a focal point with him than others I've dated. Our day to day lives and interests and general coupley type stuff is what dominates our time together. The last guy I dated there was crazy sexual chemistry, and whilst we had similar values we were quite different people and it didn't last long. I found it super hard ending though as I really liked him, but now I see that it was never going to last as the sex was the main driver of what was so good about the whole relationship.

Enjoy! 😉

Well, you could try going on dates in public places with your clothes on and see how that goes.

Obviously if you're just shagging, that'll be the main common ground you have 😂

I'm all for it, but it's a bit daft to complain about not having much in common if all you're doing together is going to bed.

Enjoy it - if and when it ends you’ll have some great memories and some tricks to teach the next one.

It takes more than sex to build a long-lasting and happy relationship. Not to say you can't have a 'fun time' with him for now. But if you're looking for something permanent know that you won't find Mr Right when you're tangled up with Mr Right Now.

If you only meet inside and get straight to sex, you’ll probably not find whatever else you have in common.

That said, enjoy the great sex, as what I read on here suggests it’s in short supply.

If the novelty wears off and there’s still nothing else there, you can move on with fond memories 😊.

I’ll go against the grain. Dh and I have very different hobbies/interests and support each other in these but still really love each other. (Married happily for 20 years this summer). We also have great sex.

FWB?

Sounds fantastic. Maybe you're discovering something new and exciting about yourself?

Honestly I think it depends, if they also make you laugh, you want to spend time with them (other then the sex) and little things make you think of them then no it's not doomed. If it's solely for sex then yes it's not going to go far.

Perhaps ask him to wallpaper a room, and then make a decision?

Have a lovely time, and you never know, you might be surprised. I was unsure about my dp for much longer than that, also as we had very different personalities; he's laid back and relaxed and I worry more - and he's very knowledgeable and likes to talk about history, whereas I have an absolutely terrible memory, so while I'm not stupid I can't keep up with him on fact-naming. And when we'd got together I thought it would just be a fun fling, so was fine choosing someone who smokes and has had a lot more partners than me. (Who evidently taught him how to be a generous lover!) I found conversation a bit awkward sometimes at first.
But over time I realised that we share a lot of values, sense of humour, likes and dislikes etc. During Covid we were 100% on the same page. And our personalities actually complement one another. We've found some things we both enjoy, and each got into some of the other's hobbies. Been together 7 years now.

Enjoy, you are so lucky !

Around 6 months in you start to think, has this really got potential to go long term or is it just a good time, it's hard for us to say. I don't think you need to same interest in hobbies but it'd be rather dull if conversation doesn't flow well, as would staying in everytime, there has to be more to it than sex and attraction to go long term. If you want a family one day then have a chat about what you both want and in which timescale.

We're exactly the opposite to OP's situation. My DP is kind and thoughtful, laid back, generous, loving and affectionate. We like the same music, animals, sense of humour, TV, pub evenings, eating out. Unfortunately he has zero sex drive. What does a girl do?

I was in the same position and remember telling a friend a month after I met my DP that we wouldn't last as we had nothing in common. We had great sex from the off though. We've been together 2.5 years now and actually we have much more in common than I realised at first - the same energy and drive, a love of dancing, walking, gardening, the same TV programmes, the same morals re relationships. We are still very different in our background, politics, friends, he is nothing at ALL like I thought I would want or would have chosen if I had seen his profile on OLD but we are very happy these days

I'd be very careful before letting that go! I'm not sure I thought I had very much in common with my partner apart from sex if I'm honest, but like PP said, after 10 years I do feel like we have a lot in common now. Tbh, marriage and kids is hard. It really helps if you can have a mutually satisfying shag periodically.