Positive thread for finding love after having your world turned upside downn

[randomnamechange2024]

I really need to hear some positive stories about finding love again after having my heart ripped out 2 yrs ago by my ex who I spent my life with from teens to late 30s and had a family with him. Its the usual story of he left and immediately hooked up and started a family with a much younger woman. He pulled my whole life from under me. I'm not sure that I'll ever trust or love anyone else after this. I'm still in our house that we shared for 15 yrs. I havent tried to move on or look for anyone else (if Im honest my ex still breadcrumbs me successfully at times) I'm still very attracted and in love with him 😔 I'm trying to turn that off before I decide to perhaps allow anyone else in but I can't see myself being able to move on freely in this house with all the memories, plus as stupid as it sounds I'd feel like I'm taking a massive shit over 20 yrs of my life and like I'm betraying him... I think im going to have to find a new home to separate my emotions so I can live a new life, feel like I'm stuck here in the past waiting for him to return at any moment living here.

I really need to hear some lovely stories about people finding something new after having their world blown apart I need some positivity

Move house. Ignore all contact unless necessary for your DC. Don't engage with him. No social media, nothing.

Seek therapy if you think that would be useful.

Get yourself back. Love yourself and regain your self confidence. Who knows, you may find you don't need 'love' again. Maybe your DC will be enough together with your friends, hobbies, new interests and finally realising that you're absolutely great and brilliant just as you are.

So I’ve joined up just to message, I could have written your post 5 years sgo! I am now (very recently) happily married, and happier then I have ever been. I never thought this would be possible, and it took me such a long time to get over what my ex husband did to me. We had been together since teens - 30, had children and he just walked out due to an affair, left me shattered

I spent a long time putting him on a pedestal, like he was some god, but I read some self help books, and one of them made me see him for what he was, and made me fall out of love with him (very painful and very slowly, but worth it for the outcome).

My best advice would be to read some self help books, I can tell you the ones I used if you want, make yourself feel good, and in time you will start to feel happier and ready to date again.

the best thing I did was to force myself back onto the dating scene, my confidence was at an all time low, but seeing they other guys where interested in me, made me feel like I wasn’t the problem and slowly my confidence started to come back.

definitely look at moving, being surrounded by old memories is painful, when you feel ready.

please message me if you want to, but take my word for it, things will get better!!

Just incase I don’t find my way back to this thread, the two books that helped me
to start processing everything, where “Runsway Husbands by Vicky Stark” there is also a good private Facebook community of hers where you can chat to people “runaway Huabnds Community”.

Next is, Leave a cheater, gain a life by Tracey Schorn, brill book

The one that really helped me to take my ex off the pedestal and see the situation for what it was is “Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You” by Susan J Elliott.

im not a bookworm either, the first two I have hard copies of (happy to post!) the third I listened to the audio book. Xx