Not sure if I'm overthinking or justified

[Greendoor78]

My wife and I have been together 5 years and married 2. For the last year my feelings have changed. I received an anonymous text message telling me to ask my wife about a time she stayed in a hotel with her friend and two guys. I kinda already knew about it but after the text she told me a different version but still held back. Basically I think the 4 of them had some kind of group sex or she had sex with her friend. She is still really close to this friend even though she knows it makes me uncomfortable. She seems to get her advice on everything, things that we should discuss as a couple, even buyung a car!! Also I know she's been with lots of guys. She told me she (in her words) stagged about for years. I appreciate this was before we met but I just can't get this out my head. It's now at the point I don't want her to touch me. I'm repulsed by her lifestyle. If I had of known I would never have married her. I just don't know how to move forward

It's in the past, everyone has one. Most people do crazy things with their best friends when younger. Maybe you should have had the conversation before getting married.

She had a past. But you are not a priority in her present.

2 years is a short marriage, get divorced and go find someone who values you.

When she stayed in the hotel, was that during your relationship or before? Makes a massive difference.

Also, if she has different moral attitudes than you towards sex, that may make you incompatible I agree, even tho she was free to have sex with whoever she liked before you got together.

Did you not know about her enjoyment in casual sex and multiple partners before you married? Do you feel she intentionally misrepresented herself?

I share similar views on sex to your wife, and when single have had a fair few casual experiences. I've always been open about it with new partners (not in gritty detail - but that this is me and I believe it's fine). It has no doubt put some people off, but that's cool - everyone has their personal views and preferences.

OP what she may have done in the past, and with how many is really non of your business, married or not. Women can also have casual sex if they feel like it.

But, what stands out to me is that she now repulses you, and I feel for her and you.

You had other ideas of her, and now they seem to be broken and you are unable to look past it. If you are finding you here seeking advise then you have obviously reached a point where you feel you need a justification to divorce her, you dont.

And how many she may have slept with, that is your issue. Part ways before it really messes the two of you.

You had an anonymous message? I wonder who it was from.

You do realise that some people will deliberately shit-stir, don't you? I went on an evening out once with a gang from work. I was staying at my colleague's house that evening as she was local, and there was one bloke who missed his train so she said he could crash at hers as well. He thought he was up for a threesome with her and me, and was most put out when she made him sleep in the spare room (which was where I had been going to sleep) and she & I shared her double bed. He said nothing for weeks, and then rumours started emerging at work that my friend and I were lesbians and had slept together that night. We were nothing of the sort, but the rumours could have only been started by him. Sour grapes we thought, because he didn't get the sex-fest he thought we were up for.