Holiday friendship / crush now in my life back home

[whatthehellnow23]

Hi! I need some independent advice because I feel like a teenager.
In April and my husband went to Stockholm for 6 days for a trip on our own while our son (7) was away with his auntie for the week on holiday.
It was amazing and we both feel in love with the place but there is something that happened that I haven't even told my friends.
On day 3 we went on an archipelago tour and he wasn't feeling well during it (migraines) so after the 3 hours he needed to go back to the hotel which we did and chilled out for a bit, he felt back and told me to go out shopping or something rather than just watching him doze and chill if I felt comfortable doing so which I did so off I went about 2pm.
I spent an hour killing time the decided to go to a bar I had seen on tiktok of all places to get a cocktail before heading back, it had just opened at 3pm so i was the first person in there the two barman were lovely and told me to sit at the bar and they talked me through the menu, the bars history and what I was doing there etc. I told one of the guys that my husband was ill and was very upfront he was empathetic and chatted to me gave me some samples of other drinks etc and when other people came into the bar he introduced me and got me into conversation teaching me some Swedish words and talking about England etc so I didn't feel alone and had a really nice time, I ended up having 4 cocktails before leaving and stayed about 3 hours. He kept coming back in between serving others and telling me stories and asking me stuff I could of easily stayed all night.
Anyway husband was feeling better we enjoyed the rest of our holiday I told him I went to a bar and how welcoming it was etc We get home and I leave a review and post on instagram for the bar saying how great it was, the drinks and how I really appreciated the company and service as I was alone etc etc I then get a message back from the bar from the barman I had been speaking to saying he's glad I had a good time and how was the rest of my time there .... you all know where this is going. I replied and then we followed each other on his private account. I'm now talking to him most days, what the hell do I do! Issue is my husband wants to go back and he wants to go to this great bar I was raving about. But there's no way I want that to happen now!

Unfollow and block.

I think you are making a big deal out of nothing. You had a few drinks and a bit of chat with a barman (for whom chatting with customers i.e. getting them to stay longer and keep buying drinks) is part of the job.

Were you secretly hoping for follow up contact when you left the review?

There is no great "oh, what do I do?" dilemma here. Nothing has happened. Just stop with the messages. I doubt the barman will give it a second thought.

Also, it wasn't a "friendship" and he's not in your life!!

I think you're a bit bored and hoping for a bit of extra marital attention.

Cool off on the messaging, say “hoping to come back, loved Sweden and my DH wants to come to your bar, I hope we make it soon”.

You met him for 3 hours. It was hardly a friendship. Stop replying and block him.

You’re looking for an excuse to cheat. Block, and seriously consider telling someone else in real life who can hold you accountable.

I assume you would be OK with your husband messaging a woman he met in a bar, every day?

What is the tone of the messages?

Another vote for just stop replying, unless you consider leaving your marriage. So even if you visit this bar together with DH in future (as this was on holidays, I assume this potential future visit is months/years away?) so what… barman most probably won’t even remember you if it was only one meeting a long time ago and he sees new people every day in the bar.

This. You’re making a giant big deal out of nothing. Just stop messaging. This is not star-crossed lovers.