I didn’t come from a ‘good’ family as I would call it, but as a teen I kept to myself got into Uni, which I was called a ‘nerd’ for. My family didn’t financially support or visit, I had a job to pay for my living. I got a job after graduation in my field, I work in advertising, and worked for nearly less than minimum wage for years. I’ve been in the job for 8 years now and pretty much as high as I could go in terms of job role and get paid really well, I love it and I’m happy. I met my husband at uni and we lived in the town we went to Uni in, a few hours from where we grew up (coincidentally not too far from each other which is what got us talking originally). After having kids we decided to move to be closer to our family.
I feel like now we’re back in the area people make less effort with us than when we lived far away. I barely get a text a week from parents or sisters. My parents visit once a month and my sister once every 2/3 months. I live 20 minutes away.
One of my sisters has gotten obsessed with my finances since I moved. We recently bought a house and she googled it to find out how much we paid then moaned to my other sister about why anyone would pay that. She asks how much I paid for my car/things I buy for the house. She google searched my daughter’s nursery to find out how much Childcare I was paying. I caught her in my office when she came to visit going through my payslips. She moans to me a lot that I can never understand her because I ‘have money’ and she doesn’t. (She doesn’t work).
I feel like it’s because of my success in my chosen career than my family don’t like being around me, or feel awkward. I try to avoid all topics of money when we’re together as I would never want them to feel that way. I had it tough growing up and my parents were hard on me, and not in good ways, but I still want them all in my life. They’ve recently started hanging out without me, my sisters say ‘oh you were working’ when it was a BBQ they threw together on a night I wasn’t working, which they would have known if they asked.
I feel left out and it sucks, it feels unfair because I’ve worked hard and struggled in my own ways to get here and I don’t agree with the ways they claim benefits they are not genuinely entitled to but I don’t voice that or leave them out for it. I don’t think talking to them would help, they don’t really seem to care for my feelings.
I know it’s ‘nicer’ problems to have in today’s climate but it really does weigh on my mind a lot. I love my husband, I love my kids, I love that I can afford to give them nice things as that’s why I work so hard. I hate that my family can’t see that. It sucks because I moved to be closer to them and it’s pushed us further apart.
So my reason for posting is, if anyones been in a situation like this how did you deal with it? (Especially mentally as this plays on my mind constantly I feel really upset about being outcast)