Did I make the right decision?

[Rachel2478]

This is my first post on here, so please be kind!

I recently broke up with my partner of 3 and a half years. I am 28 and he is 31. I own my own flat and my ex used to live in his family home with his dad.

My ex refused to move out of his family home and instead asked his dad to move out (which he agreed to do). The family home has been passed down from generation to generation and although he said I could move in, he made it clear that it wouldn’t be a possibility of me buying and owning half the property in the future. He also said to me ‘my house, my rules’ so I think it would be fair to assume I wouldn’t have had much say in his house.

If I moved in to my ex’s house, I would have left my job (the commute would be 2.5 hours each way) and not doable. I also would have had to move away from my family and friends too.

My ex doesn’t believe in marriage and didnt want to get married. His parents are divorced and he did not have a very supportive childhood. My ex changed his mind about having kids so many times, but having kids is something I have always wanted. Although, I don’t think it would have been wise to bring a child up in such an insecure environment.

I walked away from the relationship because I felt that everything had to go his way and there was no consideration for what I wanted out of life.

It sounds like you both wanted very different things in life. You don’t want to be with someone like him, so I would put it behind you and focus on you!

Yes you made the right decision.

He sounds horrible. Did I understand correctly that he made his Dad move out of his Dad’s own home?

Onwards and upwards OP.
💐

Yes, well done for looking out for your future self

Yes, that’s right he asked his dad to move out, so I could move in, as I wasn’t prepared to live with both of them. He then said to me that he’s had to have very difficult conversations with his family and I was made to feel bad about this.

My ex doesn’t believe in marriage and didnt want to get married

Eye roll... He's protecting his assets. He's not thinking of a future with someone and a marriage of equals, building a life together long term. It's not a great start if he's announcing that already.

My ex changed his mind about having kids so many times, but having kids is something I have always wanted. Although, I don’t think it would have been wise to bring a child up in such an insecure environment

If he's messing around changing his mind about kids and telling you he doesn't believe in marriage and you do want to have kids then this is a non-starter.
I'm glad you didn't fall for any kind of future-faking nonsense about wanting kids.

You are now free to find someone who is on the same page as you and is interested in a committed relationship, with marriage and children.

Yes you did the right thing. You can find a better man who adores you and like someone else said, wants to build an equitable future with you.

Focus forward now and build better, don't waste time and be firm. Visualise what you want xxx

@dicokno thank you! He said to me before he “didn’t want me getting my hands on his inheritance”, but the way I see it is that I just wanted to own our own home together, I don’t think that’s too much to want!