So I have been with my fiancé for seven years. He has always guarded his phone and respects boundaries. We haven't ever needed to go on each other phones etc. I am very open and couldn't care less if he did or didn't go on it. He claims to be in the same boat with it all. But I beg to differ.
Last August his alarm went off in the morning and I have been so accustomed to the sound of it, that I know the drill. Its snoozed every five minutes. Until eventually I heard a different vibrating sound - (the sound of someone phoning him). I had no reason to be suspicious and simply said “hun someone is calling you”. He denied it happened. So I accepted this and thought nothing of it.
Until the following day. The same thing happened. I was agitated because I couldn't understand why he wasn't answering and I confronted him. It blew up into an argument, he became angry and almost got teary.
I had no other evidence to prove otherwise so took his word and made it clear that I wouldn't tolerate any BS. Fast forward to this year and this month, the same thing happened. He seemed to quickly cancel the vibrating sound. Yet again developed into a huge argument.
He is denying it black and blue. Saying he categorically loves me, that he wants a future with me and that he is doing nothing of the sort. I am showered with affection 24/7 and this has always been the case. We quite literally spend most of our time together. He picks me up from work and takes me home. Happily takes me anywhere etc. We do lots together. But I don't know if the issue lies with me and whether I'm paranoid or it's gut instinct.
Tonight he went out of the house to get ‘ingredients’ for a recipe that apparently we left off the list (literally one ingredient that could have been left out).
Then when the recipe didn't turn out so well, we decided on a takeaway. We looked at his phone and he seemed to be overly chatting (nervous rambling) and holding his phone, he was almost reluctant to let me hold it. I told him to just give me the phone so I could have a read through it all and decide properly. He made the excuse that it would ‘help him decide if we went through it together’. I put my foot down and said ‘look just give me the phone like you normally do and ill decide on what I want to have’. He eventually gave it to me.
Now I'm really depressed because I just feel like my gut instinct is telling me something isn't 100%. He knows I'm not myself and he too has gone all quiet / feeling low.
One minute he is fine with me holding his phone and the next he isn't. Its been like this over a period of a few months.
He also has a daughter with someone else and routinely deletes messages with her. I suspected nothing of this for years because they are miles apart in personality and he didn't ever love her and vice versa. But lately she has been nice towards him. Whereas for almost two years she has been nothing but bitchy. Suddenly she is totally okay with him. Now I'm finding that all a bit strange. I have been so adamant that he really couldn't be arsed with her and claims he has no idea why she is being so kind. He says he is baffled by it just as much as I am
Even if he isn't talking to her etc. Could he be talking to someone else and having one of those weird online affairs? Just so lost with it all and its really starting to have an impact. Everytime I feel like letting go and trusting him. I feel like something comes up.