Children or not children

[Confusedaspips]

Myself and my DH have been together just over 6 years and got married last year.

We have both always thought we didn’t want children but since coming back from a holiday something has just clicked and my stance has now changed towards now waiting children.

This has come as quite a shock to my DH which I completely understand but every-time I try to discuss this with him it feels like it’s going nowhere.

Hes very loyal and keeps reminding me of our vowels we took and won’t give an answer of where his head is at. Instead all I’m getting is that we will take a few months for me to think about this and then go from there.

I have asked what’s meant to happen if he still doesn’t want them but I do and his response is that one of us with have to concede.

He keeps saying he won’t leave me regardless but I’m starting to feel alone as the more I think about this situation the more I think I want to have children.

I know that this is my fault as I have changed my mind and I feel so guilty.

if anyone can offer a hand hold or any advise it would be appreciated.

You need an answer, children with you or divorce, so you can move forward with your life. YANBU.

How old are you Op? My advice is different if you are 23 vs 37. Although only really about the urgency.

If you are 23 then give yourself a few months to a year to think about if you definitely want children. If you do then you need to be clear with your husband and make plans to leave if he isn’t happy to have kids too. (Note I say “happy” not “willing”.)

If you are 37 then you don’t have the luxury of time to think about this. You need to decide fast. And make plans to leave if necessary pretty fast too.

@Mumofteenandtween we are both 29 if that’s any help.

I just feel so lost and hollow at the moment.

thank you both for your advice @DustyLee123 & @Mumofteenandtween

Considering you were both so set on not having children he is allowed to be shocked and need some time to process this (as you have even put it) sudden turn of events.

You’re only 29 it’s not as if you’re pushing 40 and have just thought of this. Give him the grace of having some time to let this sink in and really think about what he wants. The same grace that you would want if it was him who had suddenly turned round and changed his mind.

I agree with this. He needs time to think it over.