Leaving a narcissist. Living arrangements help

[Whatsnext99]

How do you actually do it with kids? I've read things saying to just leave and don't tell them you are leaving as they will convince you to stay but how do you do this when you own a home together and I've kids? I've read about other people renting somewhere else and moving stuff across slowly (so they don't notice) and then just going there. But I just feel like this would be too many changes for the children...leaving their home, renting a house and then buying somewhere once this place is sold.

Please does anyone have any tips on how to logistically do it?

My friend kicked her narcissist out, any chance that could work, would be less upheaval.

I'm not sure. He's said the one who decides to end it should leave and why do the women always get to keep living in the house. I think it won't be easy to get him to leave.

Also is it best for the children to stay in the family home for the foreseeable future? In terms of stability? In my head this house is so tainted with bad memories I want to sell up and move but want to do best by kids.

Sorry no advice but I’m in a similar situation. It would be quicker for me to leave as he is too lazy / tight to move house. But i’d be more comfortable staying in the family home. Hope someone comes along soon with some good advice.

A lot depends on finances etc. If he won't move, you may have to find somewhere. I assume you plan to take the dc? Be prepared for him to fight you on that.

Have you spoken to a solicitor at all?

Gosh yes. He doesn't spend any time with them as it is and when he does it's not exactly enjoyable. I know he will try and fight me just to hurt me though.

I am in the process of getting one on board. I've heard it's good to get one on board whilst making plans to leave. Just not sure what they can do at the present moment.

I know! Mine is too! Says he won't be able to afford even a one bedroom flat if we split up. I'd feel sorry for him if he actually had one nice bone in his body. I know the kids will want to stay here but all I can see is sad memories in every room. The whole house is how he wants it. I hate it here and just want to create my own sanctuary in a fresh home for me and the kids.