Hello all,
A few weeks ago, I started talking to what I thought to be a really cool guy online. we are both in our early/mid 30s. We live a few hours’ drive from each other but his plan is to move to near where I’m based to be closer to his mother. In fact that is how we matched; the last time he was in the area.
The chat between us was going really well. He was initiating it most of the time, texting me every day, mentioning a few times the aspect of meeting up (which we’ve not managed to do as yet- it was quite a busy time for me when we were first talking), all was great. However I then floated the idea of whether if it came to it, he’d be open to something long distance. I appreciate that it was early days but with how much we were talking, as well as my growing interest in him albeit over text, I didn’t want to invest into someone who just wanted a long distance penpal without any desire for more.
He was a little vague in his response about long distance but eventually caved in and said it’s not something that he generally likes to do. But that he doesn’t just want to be penpals either, so perhaps we could just be friends given the distance.
I stated that I wasn’t on the dating site for new friends but rather to date people. He told me he did want to date me, that he would still like to meet up the next time he’s in my neck of the woods (he comes to my area about once or twice a month), but that given the distance perhaps friendship is better.
I expressed some annoyance at him giving me mixed signals (ie flitting between saying he wants to date me, to maybe we should just be friends, then back to saying he wants to date me, then again just friends etc)
I said I’d only meet him under the strict guise of platonic friendship once and for all without anymore of his “playing around with words”. I unmatched him on the dating site to be concurrent with this (something I now regret!). He didn’t reply to that, then things went cold and we stopped talking altogether.
I missed him though; we had clicked well I felt, and I did feel it would have been good if we had just met up or at least spoken on the phone. So I reinitiated contact with him on the pretext of something random that I sent him 2 weeks later based on what I saw on the news.
This got us talking again which was nice. Nothing more romantic however. I also don’t know as to whether he will get in touch with me to meet up when he next comes to the area. I appreciate that he might have lost some of the initial spark that had us talking in the first place, but given that we’ve never even spoken on the phone, I do feel that there’s opportunity for more. I know he said that long distance isn’t really his thing, but I really do want to meet him. Even if it leads to nothing, I’d love to have that down.
I would love some guidance please on how I can reignite some sort of spark here that’ll make him want to ask me to meet up?
Thank you in advance x