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A 'Weird' One

3 replies

WestCountryLass · 05/04/2008 08:31

My FIL is in the process of splitting up with his girlfriend of 4.5 years. At first she said she wanted to stay in touch with us and the kids (she has older children but no GC yet and so she treated our DC like GC). Now she is saying she does not want any further involvement with us because the split 'could get messy'.

Of course I have to respect this but it really hurts! My own DM lives abroad and hardly ever sees our DC and my Dads former wife who was my Stepmother for 20 years severed all contact when she split from my Dad (that hurt too but my DS1 was a baby so had not built a relationship with her). I find it very odd that someone who has said she loves the DC can just cut them off like that, people are strange.

This is more of an offload really as DH and SIL are obviously more concerned about their DF than any of this.

OP posts:
hecate · 05/04/2008 08:36

As you say, nothing you can do, but I can understand that it's hurtful. Maybe drop her a note saying you understand that this time is painful for her, but you hope that in the future she will feel able to get in touch as you and the children feel she is your family and you would not like to never see her again..

  • of course you would have to word it FAR better than that (sorry, it's early!!)
Janni · 05/04/2008 09:15

I think if you keep the communication going (cards/photos) etc, when the initial emotion of the breakdown has worn off she may well resume some contact. This does not have to be a onece and for all decision. Sorry you're having a hard time x

sophiewd · 05/04/2008 09:18

Do you think there may be a slight possibilty that your FIL has asked her to stay away from his family?

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