Please help me get a grip!

[Frenchchutney]

Just that really.

Late 40s and have been dipping my toe into OLD. Had been having some fun on it as just looking for casual dates etc, thought I had it all down, certain I’d never really fall for someone.

And then 2 weeks ago I matched with this guy and I honestly feel like I’ve gone slightly mad. I don’t even understand why as he isn’t my type physically but I have really properly fallen for him. The logical part of me can see it’s totally ridiculous - we’ve met up once and are meeting again, but he doesn’t even live in this country permanently! I’m actually embarrassed to admit but I’m basically spending literally hours of the day messaging with him. I feel like I’ve regressed to being 18 as actually can’t stop thinking about him. I forgot to eat dinner last night for example.

I know part of it must be some sort of me wanting to escape my reality - but why would I fall for someone where it basically can’t go anywhere. I sort of feel a bit freaked out by my own reactions and behaviours.

I really really need to get a grip somehow but I don’t know how. Apart from anything else when he leaves im
slightly worried I’m going to feel devastated.

Should I just stop messaging him? Try and tail it off.

First of all good for you getting out there. You're in the beginning part wheres it's all butterflies etc but I would just tone it down a little. You don't need to stop fully, maybe you worry if you don't reply he will lose interest but a guy will go after what he wants. Just be yourself and just play it a bti cooler that's all.
If nothing comes of it so what enjoy it just be careful re him in another country (not all men are dodgy) but just keep a little guard up keep yourself safe

How old is he ?

Same age as me.

Yes you are right I do need to cool it. I think it’s more it’s totally taken me by surprise. Thought I was way past actually liking someone.

So why totally ridiculous ? Sounds fun !

Ah, don’t worry - OLD is a massive roller coaster. In the end I just accepted it would be like that and had regular breaks! It’s the men who message constantly where it ramps up the emotions a lot. It’s just addictive for some reason. I’d try and limit the messaging a little if possible… or just accept the roller coaster 🤪.

Sometimes we just have natural chemistry with someone and click even if the reasons why aren't obvious. It can also depend on our mindset and personal situation at the time.

Perhaps the fact you don't think it will go anyway has made you lower your defences?

Hmm @AuntieDolly - that’s actually maybe true, because it’s seems more unreal as it can only be short lived.

@Workawayxx - yeah it is weirdly addictive I agree!