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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I tell him how I feel

8 replies

Boundaries84 · 24/05/2024 16:49

So I've been chatting with someone for a month, it's long distance. At the start he would send me video messages and voicenotes as I love his accent and am attracted to him physically. I sent video messages and voicenotes back and we have had 3 video calls as well.
But this last week and half , he has just been texting and has literally stopped sending me voicenotes and videos. For me the whole point of it is to see him and hear his voice , not have a penpal who I text with.
I really like him but this is bothering me and now I jut text him back rather than voicenote or send a video as I think, why should I go to the trouble of doing it when he clearly isn't. It's just such low effort. He still is interested as he is the one mainly initiating the texts. I just don't know why he has stopped voice noting me etc?
I don't want it to end but it seems pretty pointless just texting each other like this and I feel like I should tell him that I don't really want to continue it if we are going to just text each other.
Any ideas what I should do?

OP posts:
category12 · 24/05/2024 16:52

Ask him why he's stopped?

Boundaries84 · 24/05/2024 16:55

@category12 yeah I really should. But I think I know the answer , he's maybe just not as interested anymore, even though he's the one getting in touch with me alot of the time

OP posts:
Boundaries84 · 24/05/2024 16:58

@category12 I also find a lot of guys start with voicenotes and then it trails off to just texts. I'm starting to think all guys are like this

OP posts:
HappyAutumnFields · 24/05/2024 17:00

But what’s the point of it anyway if it’s long distance? It’s pen pals either way, regardless of whether it’s voice notes or text messages.

Wooloohooloo · 24/05/2024 17:01

Are you hoping for an actual in person relationship? If it's long distance it's probably a non starter. Why not try to date closer to home?

Boundaries84 · 24/05/2024 17:23

Yeah I get that it's pointless and probably won't go anywhere but I was enjoying getting the videos and voicenotes from him and now tbh it's just boring , and it's him that stopped doing them, not me.

OP posts:
HappyAutumnFields · 24/05/2024 17:24

Boundaries84 · 24/05/2024 17:23

Yeah I get that it's pointless and probably won't go anywhere but I was enjoying getting the videos and voicenotes from him and now tbh it's just boring , and it's him that stopped doing them, not me.

Well, presumably he’s also bored?

MILTOBE · 24/05/2024 17:26

I suppose he can only send voice notes when he's on his own. Maybe he's not always on his own.

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