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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dilemma

4 replies

Sum3er · 23/05/2024 15:36

I just found out my boyfriend if 4 years have been cheating on me with 3 other women for over 18 months. He currently gf reached out to tell me she knew of me only recently and of another woman. When I confronted him about it he said he was only friends with these ‘lame ducks’ because they needed a shoulder to cry on. He then says they’re still only friends but yes he does have sex with them. My boyfriend is 52 and a doctor. We are all quite a bit younger at 38,35 and 47. He has two teenage kids who have all seen him rotating us in turn in front of his family and none of them have said a word for so long. To make it worse his current partner who recently left him is a police officer. She’s been told about his recreational drug use and sex parties which i unaware of. I knew he was invited to one but I asked him not to attend it yet he still did for ‘ the experience. I’m trying to move on. But what a dilema. He’s a medical doctor and a GP who takes drugs most weekends. Should we report him to the medical council or leave dogs lie? To be honest I don’t want to stoop that low but do we have a duty of care to report him in case he puts patient safety at risk?
any thoughts welcome. I’d like to never see him again and I really don’t have the mindset to seek revenge.

OP posts:
category12 · 23/05/2024 15:53

It looks a lot like revenge if you knew about the drugs before and weren't inclined to dob him in, and now you know he's cheated you are prepared to dob him in.

If it's only through another of the women involved that you know about the drugs etc, then leave it to her to report or not, cos all you've got is hearsay.

Sorry the guy turned out to be a shit.

category12 · 23/05/2024 15:54

Unless you're saying these women are his patients?

Sum3er · 23/05/2024 16:02

I don’t know who these women are all I know is they are ‘ friends’ he has been sleeping with

OP posts:
Sum3er · 23/05/2024 16:03

It does sound like revenge I do agree.
and I knew he sometimes took drugs I just didn’t know the extent of it. To be fair I don’t think anyone are hurt about his drug use. It’s the cheating and the denying band simply saying we have only ever been friends, that has hurt.

OP posts:
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