Partners birthday

[ivise]

Hey, so today is my partners birthday and he is working all day , because of recent events and me not having a job and looking for one has left me with no money, he is the one who is paying for us and our daughter . Basically I made home made cake and got him a card . He keeps saying don't buy me anything , it makes me feel like he deep down would be happy if I did get him smth . I am feeling really down that I cannot get him anything , do you think I should have borrowed money and got him smth? I did make his fav cake and will cook smth nice for dinner but that it x

You've done what you can. Don't give it another thought and don't get into debt.

You know your DH....if mine says don't bother getting me anything, he means it. So I don't! If you feel bad, can you afford a bottle of wine or a small box of chocolates?
He knows the financial position so if you spoil him, I'm sure he probably couldn't care less if you buy him anything!

@moose62 he doesn't drink alcohol or eat that much chocolate ,that's why I made him his fav cake ,which I know he loves .
I hope he means it . I only started to doubt because he keeps saying that over and over again 😄
I did say to him that I will get him smth when I can but generally we prefer spend money on going places rather than gifts x

He's said not to buy him anything, so I'd just trust that he means it. It would probably make him feel bad to know you've had to borrow money to get him something anyway.

I personally would feel more grateful of the time spent making a cake and a nice dinner than to receive just a token gift anyway. You've clearly made an effort, and that's what counts.

@yellowsmileyface thank you , I hope so ,because he probably doesn't even expect me to make this cake x

What is his love language? What does he value?

I am materialistic, I love to give gifts, but for me thought is the most important thing. Not that impressed with gifts given to me.

So, having a babysitter tonight for us to spend time alone is great and beats any gift. A surprise meal or cake is also good. A card with 10 things you love about me is amazing. Effort and thought is everything for me! Even a FB post saying Happy Birthday to the most amazing man.... that means a lot

@Dadjoke007 he is similar he loves giving but doesn't like receiving. He much rather spend time together or as a family making memories. Even when I got him Christmas presents and forgot about card he mentioned about card ,so it that moment I knew I screwed up 😄 I think for him it's about appreciating him and telling him that so card is very important