How to survive alone - divorce?

[tiredofsettling]

I'm 42
Low paid job - no qualifications that I can use anyway and no local jobs to move to
No family (no mum/dad/siblings/cousins)
Unreliable friends, not many friends tbh
Two small children
No savings
Big mortgage
Debts- cars (needed for jobs -a requirement)
Live rurally
Only just make ends meet month by month

I think my husband might be narcissistic. He provides zero emotional support/empathy. If I'm upset he just says "well do something about it". There's no understanding or comfort even if I'm in floods of tears. No compliments to say but you have this and you're good at this etc. His personality is such that he doesn't appear to respect any other job role. No one works harder than him. He is touchy and defensive and changes the narrative of an argument. Says I know how to press his buttons and I make him so mad during a disagreement, therefore I cannot reason with him and nothing gets resolved. Other day I felt he overreacted about something and it upset me. He said he needed to sleep and wouldn't discuss it and left me crying and went to sleep.

I don't know what to do or what to make of it. I don't know if separating is an option considering I have nothing and I don't think I'm strong enough to do it. I used to be so strong. But since I lost my mum I've lost all my strength. And most of all I don't know if I can do that to my kids. My husband's job involves long changeable shifts in don't know when he would see them. I don't know how I would cope should another mother figure enter their lives.

Lost is an understatement. I've never been like this before.

Your life will get stressful and hard in other ways if you leave.

I would build up a network of better friends if you can, concentrate on your kids, focus on what your options are for increasing your salary. Disengage from your marriage as it sounds like he is not a good husband anyway.

You say he gives you no emotional support and is argumentative. Is it communication difficulties or is he abusive? Abuse is not always obvious and I would read up on this.

See how you feel this time next year.

This is all stuff I wish I heard before I left my marriage.

That doesn't sound promising. Would you be eligible for benefits if you split? What would happen with the house?

What kind of things have been upsetting you recently that he thinks you should'do something about'?

I'm not saying this is true for you but if you are depressed, sometimes you can feel your partner is the problem when it is actually wider than that.

@Emptyjars
Sorry for the slow reply. I've had a lot of emotional turmoil lately that I've been dealing with on my own.
You ask if he's abusive. I'm not sure. He might be emotionally abusive. I have friends that have said this. Of course he puts on a very good friendly show for people but behind closed doors he's miserable and I can't talk to him because he takes everything personally and therefore does t listen or address the issue because he sees it as being a completely different issue- changing the narrative. I think he is narcissistic.

What other ways have you found life stressful?

Thanks.