Should I tell him..

[HangryCat]

Recently I have found a lump in my breast (have an appt about it tomorrow) considering the feel, symptoms, and family history, I think or hope its nothing to worry about. Obviously, it's difficult not to also think the worst.
I haven't told anyone else about this yet.
I feel like I should tell my partner. We have been together for almost 5 years. But we have reached a point where the relationship could go either way, as much as the love is there, we definitely have gone in different directions regarding what we need & want from each other and life. Breaking up has been discussed, and we did for a while but he insisted we could find a way through so we are supposed to be giving it a go.
I find the thought of telling him difficult as it's a lot to put on someone especially when we don't really know where we stand with each other st the minute. But it's also difficult keeping it to myself.
Apologies for the rambling.

I'm probably not the best one to reply because I'm a great believer in being upfront and honest. I can't stand lies and I feel in a relationship if you feel you have to withhold truths from a partner then then their is something wrong with that relationship.
As you said OP this is difficult to keep to yourself and you have been together for 5 years. My feeling is if you feel you can't share this information with your partner the relationship isn't really worth anything.
Edited to say I hope that this turns out to be not a serious medical issue for you.

I'd say share it. If he's the one for you, you'll get all the support you deserve and more. If he walks away, he was never worth it.

Sorry to hear about it and hope it goes well for you. All the best

Yes. I’ve been in the same situation three times and told my other half that I had a lump which needed to be checked out. The third time it happened, we had kids by that stage, and I did NOT tell them. (All three were benign.)

I would say share it as if your relationship is already under strain, you will understand my be anxious waiting for test results and will impact your interaction with your DP. He may surprise you with care and kindness or he may see his true colours. I hope it’s the former!
I hope everything goes ok for you, sending you support x

Tell him.

Thanks for the advice. I honestly think he would want to be there for me and look after me either way. He's a good person, it's just that we have somehow ended up with different ideas on how our future looks. I worry that telling him might push him into making some decisions that deep down he doesn't want to and will result in breaking up in the future anyway.

Wishing you the very best of luck tomorrow 💐

Thank you!

Thank you 🙏

Thank you 🙏

Thank you 🙏

If it was me I'd probably go to the appointment first. They might dismiss it fully there and then. If it needs further investigation then I'd mention it. Wishing you luck.

This was my original plan. But then I also feel like I'd still have to explain it to him afterwards, even if it's nothing to worry about. Thank you 🙏

Do you want to continue this relationship? Do you think he does?
Either way, if you're strong enough, go to the appt. alone or take an obvious supporter (BF, sister or similar). After you've had your appt., you can tell your OH ... or not. The results at the appt might clarify what direction you want to take with your OH.
all best wishes for your appointment xx

I definitely think we both want to be together. Just struggling to see a way forward that works for us both.
I can definitely manage it on my own. Part of my problem tbh is that I think I need to do everything on my own as it has nearly always been that way.
I guess at the least if I tell him either way, it would have to lead to a full and honest discussion about where things are going.
Thank you 🙏 x

If you can take a friend with you to the appointment then do. They might take biopsies if it looks suspicious. Read the room as the health professionals demeanour changes if they highly suspect something. If it gets to biopsies, let him know.

Thanks. I am going to go on my own, I feel I will get on better that way, my friends would fuss too much. I'll see how today goes then tell him.