I told my bitch sis what i thought of her today and....

[donbean]

OMG OMG was shaking but the opportunity came up so i told her.
was a bit hairy for a moment but then she kind of agreed then we were ok.....
vvvvvery surprised!She asked if she could take my son out with her son over the half term and i said no because i dont trust her with him.
she was absolutely gobsmacked by this.

Yes, thank God he's got the rest of your family.

erm, its hard to say.
my sis and her partner have a very difficult relationship. they argue constantly and are not realy a family. However his dad does cuddle and kiss him lots and the child definitely knows that he is loved...adored even. So that is good.

is she jsut detached? or is she actually cruel/abusive?

I just cannot understand it because i feel very very maternal towards my niece and nephew, and it bothers me that neither of my sisters feel that about each others children.

i dont think that u can expect a woman who dislikes her own child to feel anything towards anyone elses

she is detached and yes cruel...not abusive, that is too strong a word.

she is vicious in her dealings and will snap and growl through gritted teeth orders to them.
for instance if my son is doing something with a toy that she doesnt like, she will growl at him to pack it in..NOW but this is done with venom and the look on her face looks like she is barely holding it together.
That i hate, i hate her to speak to my child this way.

so when she arrives at my mothers to pick up her son, we leave. i dont give her the opportunity to be horrid to my boy.
she hasnt noticed but i told her today that i keep him away from her as much as is humanly possible because it upsets me so much.

she just thinks that i am turning him into a brat.

broody, i dont expect her to feel any thing towards my child, i expect her to not make him feel like shit on her shoe by just bieng in the room with her.

donbean they have never been taught nuturing I really struggle to be different to my emotionally absent parents. I want to be (key thing) but it doesn't come naturally.

I would want to slap her face.

ahh i see, she spunds awful totally awful i feel for you and i think you've done well to hold off from beating her up

You sound like the best auntie a kid could wish for!

Maybe your sister will reflect on what you said.. . . . .Let's hope so.

what do you think you will do if she doesnt change her ways, i mean you can protect your own but do you think you can help your DN?

i was brought up by the same parents, i wasnt taught it, yet i fel it very strongly. i understand what you are saying though cargirl.

my nephew will be ok i think.
We have him here at every opportunity to play.
This is like his second home.

well i spose that will help

donbean, I think she has probably shut that part of herself of to protect herself. I've found it very hard having children, it means facing up to how very hurt & abandoned I feel - not nice, a box once opened you can't shut.

Also good friends/boyfriends/birth order means that you coped with it better?

lol, we have lots of noisy messy toys in our house!

defo cargirl. i do have good family, friends and a fab hubby. that has made the difference to me. I am a completely different personality to her though.
obviously our childhood has affected her much more than i could ever understand.
need to have a wine and nibbles night with her and talk to her about it all.
my other sister is very similar to her.