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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice from strangers

2 replies

Unknown16 · 22/05/2024 17:19

I've never posted before, don't actually know if anybody is going to see this but I'd appreciate advice whether it's helpful or just support I don't know. I have been with my partner for 10 years, and the relationship has had its rough patches in the past and I pick myself that I stayed through certain things but I digress. I had our son in 2019, 4 days after our son was born I lost my Nan who I was incredibly close to as she helped to bring me up when my dad died. I didn't feel a lot of support from my partner but I just thought being a first time dad was having its effects. However, January 2023 I lost my best friend of 20 years and again I felt so alone. It would be the same routine of me sorting the kids (I have a previous son from a relationship when I was young), cooking, cleaning, first one up and last one to bed and back at work 2 days after her death. Whilst he would come back from work and sit on his phone, not before asking what's for tea. I don't think I got a cuddle, he didn't ask how I was after the first day it was just like I had the one day to grieve her and that's it. Then just last week my grandad died unexpectedly and my world shattered. I've been struggling anyway the last year but this has had a massive effect on me due to everything else. He came home and asked if I wanted a takeaway so I don't have to cook, and the same thing of being a cook and maid. My manager has had more sympathy. I've explained multiple times how his actions are making me feel, or lack of anyway, and nothing changes in fact, it starts an argument because he says he doesn't know what's wrong with me and everything in life is my fault. He will most of the time just sit on his phone whilst I am speaking to him about things. Whilst I'm aware of the obvious I'm just so scared to start again and I'm really struggling with the grief. I'm 28, and I made the silly mistake of basically giving everything up to move into his house. Not only do I feel stupid, but I feel stuck. I'm on minimum wage and I work nights so I don't have the income to move out straight away. Has anyone been through anything like this that could just point me in the right direction? I don't want to bother anyone in my private life with it

OP posts:
UntiltheGirl · 22/05/2024 17:24

This isn't really to do with bereavement, OP, this is a bad relationship you need to find a way to leave. I suggest you report your own post and ask MNHQ to move it to the Relationships board where you will get lots of good advice.

(Also, I'm sorry for your losses. Flowers)

Unknown16 · 22/05/2024 17:25

Thankyou, I didn't quite know where to post tbh but I'll do just that x

OP posts:
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