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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To find a friend staying as a guest annoying

13 replies

Ohwellithappens · 22/05/2024 14:00

I have two great friends. Both stayed recently and have asked to stay again. One is a closer friend and I have stayed with her. Both are really nice people and are very close friends of each other.
They left a few days ago but I found friend B irritating to share my home with. She is really loud, talks really loudly . I feel as though I was telling her off; "please can you not read out the newspaper headlines because I can't concentrate on my work " She will tell friend B who is in another room updates from Facebook by yelling across the flat. She puts her feet on my coffee table and moves my candles aside. She also has a grim habit of snorting and clearing her throat which friend A has talked to her about. Friend A is fab and stays often but friend B is quite trying even though she means well; it's like she hasn't been house trained. How do I broach this , as friend B has already hinted at staying when friend A visits again.. ?

OP posts:
Strethy · 22/05/2024 14:15

Why were they staying over in your flat?

I'm guessing that friend A lives further away, and needs a room somewhere when you meet up but friend B is closer to you?

I think how I broach it would really depend the reasons for the stay/distances involved for both.

user1492757084 · 22/05/2024 14:22

Just say,
"NO, once a year is almost too much for me". and then laugh - but stick to your guns.
Or say "YES, but no more then two weekends per year."
Work out what is sustainable for you.

Perhaps you will say NO and that you think you would all enjoy staying in a local hotel together...or that they would.

PiHanLot · 22/05/2024 14:25

Can you just say it didn't work for you having them to stay when you are working at home? There was too much noise with 3 of you there and you didn't get enough work done

Ohwellithappens · 22/05/2024 15:21

Strethy · 22/05/2024 14:15

Why were they staying over in your flat?

I'm guessing that friend A lives further away, and needs a room somewhere when you meet up but friend B is closer to you?

I think how I broach it would really depend the reasons for the stay/distances involved for both.

They both live abroad.

OP posts:
Ohwellithappens · 22/05/2024 15:27

So the thing is that I would happily have friend A to stay for weeks but friend B is the issue. Friend A and B often travel together. And in the past friend A would also visit me and friend B would travel back but now friend B has stayed and seems to think this is a pattern.

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Ohwellithappens · 22/05/2024 15:29

I would like to add I enjoy friend B's company but it's when she stays she just doesn't behave like a guest, an example is she will get up to make a tea without offering anyone else or just make her own breakfast without checking if anyone else would like something...

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 22/05/2024 15:30

Just say two people staying at once is too much for you, and then never be available when Snorty Pal asks to stay on her own.

mathanxiety · 22/05/2024 15:31

"Working from home makes it impossible to have guests to stay, I'm afraid."

You'll just have to suck up losing the daily company of friend A.

dudsville · 22/05/2024 15:35

I agree with @DisforDarkChocolate

LargeJugs · 22/05/2024 16:12

Or if A has commented on B, you two could chat to her together about the behaviours you don't like.

It is your house and you're entitled to set rules etc. Her choice if she wants to stay.

Jhgdsd · 22/05/2024 16:29

Knock it on the head firmly.
Tell friend A that B's visit was a one off and you are not running a hostel.
B is extremely presumptuous.
See A and enjoy her. Do not allow B's uncouth behaviour spoil your time with A.
Cut B loose.

Changingplace · 22/05/2024 16:38

Just say no, I wouldn’t want people staying when I was working from home anyway, just say no sorry I’ll be working it doesn’t work for me.

Ohwellithappens · 23/05/2024 11:11

Thank you...I feel quite torn because friend B is just clueless as a house guest. As one of the posters above said it may mean that I see less of friend A but I think if I explain to friend A she will understand too

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