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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He treats our child different to his other children

4 replies

Emzo200 · 21/05/2024 21:37

So we are splitting up as he just doesn’t pull his weight and several other reasons. However my concern is the difference in how he treats our LB compared to his other son. He always did everything for him he provided for him the best of things, he took him out and planned trips, he cared for him as mother would so clothing, bathing, bedtime, feeding etc, his saved 30k aside for him, his got his date of birth tatted on him and his photos on his card etc whereas with our LB he doesn’t provide for him, doesn’t take care of him only until recently when I addressed how awful he is towards our boy comparing him to his other child saying his other child did not behave like this etc, he hasn’t saved a penny for him in fact he owes him £230 that his taken and I’ve asked back for several times and he says he will pay it but doesn’t give even £10 towards it, he just recently after I addressed the fact I’m sick of him comparing him and doing so little for him is when he has given him a bath twice now, his taken him to the park and preaches about how much he loves him and his the favourite although this wasn’t the case until a month ago. Our little boy is 2 years old. Other than that I am the provider I work full time and bills and rent is on me he works less than me so pays half the rent only otherwise grocery, LB clothes, needs, bills, other half the rent, days out etc tend to be all me which is why we’re splitting as with me doing all that he doesn’t even support me with household chores but all that aside should I rightfully be concerned about how the difference in treating them is?

Prior to me shutting down the nonsense he used to spout comparing them he also used to get mad at our little boy for being upset, his called him dumb in a annoyed way, said his the bane of his life and a bad idea. Until I told him to stfu and told him how rubbish he is towards him since he shows this loving side and doesn’t get mad at him but idk how much of that is a pretence?

OP posts:
Emzo200 · 21/05/2024 21:41

Also sorry title was meant to say other child not “children”

OP posts:
Valeriekat · 22/05/2024 15:48

You are doing the right thing. It must feel awful.

Aldertrees · 22/05/2024 16:37

Joys of polygamy

Emzo200 · 22/05/2024 18:55

Would you say it would be okay for him to continue to see his son once he moves out despite how he is with him? And the stuff he has said. I’m so cautious as I was brought up feeling like I’m not good enough and the last thing I want is the same for my son. I know how damaging it could be. My partners mum doesn’t accept my son but loves and would give anything for the other one and my partners dad sees him sometimes but wouldn’t accept me in his household the issue his parents have with either me or him is that we are not of same culture and I’m more westernised. His mum sold the house and made us homeless when I was 8 months pregnant because she didn’t want our son being born there. When he sees him he will be taking him to his dads but again idk how I feel about him going somewhere where they dislike me and did not want me going there. We got uninvited to my partners cousins wedding because my partners dad and his auntie did not want me there and said only he could come again because I’m not of same ethnicity. I’m just not sure what the right thing to do is in this situation. I don’t want them to damage my son I’m so scared I couldn’t have children and his my miracle boy and so precious to me I need him to know his always been more than good enough it’s just the people around him aren’t good enough! Ergh I really am not sure 😭 I feel either way I’m doing the wrong thing.

OP posts:
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