Was with DP for 3 years. We lived together for 1 year - I sold my house to move to his, which was a distance from my work and friends. Our plan was to save up for 1 year and buy in an estate we liked halfway between our works. We split up around 12 weeks ago his doing. Not seen him for 6 weeks as I still lived at his till I could move out.
First 6 months was great but last 6 months was terrible. This was mostly due to him going out getting drunk, tired to do anything with me (but will with others), selfish, stopped helping and communicating with me. He stopped showering at weekends, ate takeaways and was grumpy. We lived like roommates as sex went and I moved into spare room. I tried but left 6 weeks ago. But split up 6 weeks previously
i was able to buy a house in the area we liked He told me he didn’t love me and we were too different. He wanted to do his own thing and didn’t want to plan. He wanted to see his mates and get drunk when he wanted and wanted a traditional wife. Not a relationship I want. I was upset as this was not the future we both agreed on. But figured this was the true him.
6 weeks on my own. I miss the company and the good him, but not last 6 months. He has contacted me a few times to drop post etc. however this weekend he texted to say me missed me and we need to chat. I wax interested as I was confused with his behaviour change.
Turns out he was depressed and stressed due to work. He couldn’t share it with me as he felt a failure. He was going out for distraction and avoiding me as I wanted to talk about it. He knew I was unhappy and didn’t know how to fix it and was making it worse. He split up with me as that was the only way to end my unhappiness. He has gone to GP is on medication to help and has paid for counselling.
so I agreed to try again. Slowly date and see if I can forget the last 6 months. We have had an honest conversation about our needs and boundaries. Both agreeing to communicate more. It’s early days but he is back to the guy I fell in live with. however I am waiting for it to fall down again. Friends are saying he can’t change and that was true him.
I really don’t know what to think as I can’t forget the last 6 months, and know it was depression. I feel like a fool taking him back. I never go back as an ex is an ex.
any advice to move forward?