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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Milkmonster Update

4 replies

milkmonster · 04/04/2008 17:22

I don't know if anyone will remember my old thread from around xmas time, I can't seem to find it on these forums anymore (does anyone know how I can find my old thread?) but I'm just updating on my situation for those who are familiar with it ;

I am a week away now from moving back to my family and have had to 'covertly' organise new rented housing in their town. My next step is to apply for custody,as I never reailsed that if your unmarried partner has Parental Responsibility, he can apparently 'kidnap' your child and you can't get the child back unless you take him to court, so I suspect this is going to happen soon unless I get away quickly.

I will add some more later tonight (Friday).

OP posts:

Alambil · 04/04/2008 19:29

I remember your posts milk... so glad you are leaving

You in contact with any agencies? My cousin had to leave with a police escort due to the volatile reputation of her ex - do you need to consider such things?

is this your old thread? Just go to search for messages (in the grey bit at the top), put your name and a date range in and look down the list

Still thinking of you - take great care especially as it's all so near

k9kuts · 04/04/2008 19:29

hello there,i remember your story well and although i never posted i have often wondered how you are.well what can i say i am so glad you have made steps to get out of the situation you are in.i wish you and your little one the very best of luck in your new life and you should be very very proud of yourself.please keep posting so we know you ok.

Original poster

milkmonster · 05/04/2008 01:21

I am finally leaving this house in another week, but I have a last advice request.

Most of the house belongings are his - 90% probably - but he will refuse to remove them before moving day, hence I will lose my deposit and advance a hefty amount of nerly £1000 which I can't really afford to lose.

How can I remove his belongings?
Can I instruct a removals firm to remove them and take them to a storage facility, then have both invoice HIM?

Should I just forget about the downpayments I am owed on vacation of the property and leave his stuff here? (Although he may well damage the property to gain access to his belongings causing me more financial loss).

I don't want to involve the police again, as I have since learnt every time you phone the police regarding a domestic violence incidient, it's logged with Social Services who keep a record of it and can use it for enforcement cases in the future.

OP posts:

Alambil · 05/04/2008 11:42

Yes, it is logged but you can tell the DV unit that you are leaving - you have a safehouse ready and waiting; it's not like you need them to sort the issue for you and let you go back, right?

Is he going to move out of the house then too?

Is the house rented or mortgage?

Can you tell the rental company/whoever that you are NOT connected in any way with the house now and you won't be giving a forwarding address due to domestic violence. That way, they will know it's not your fault and invoice him?

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