Think my friend is unhappy, do I say something ?

[Deepdivesue]

I have a friend, not close close but comfortable.
Her life on the surface seems good, but she's dropped hints that she not happy - lots of stress of mental load and a DH that doesn't get close to pulling his weight.
She's never said outright how things are, although when she's had a drink she's got close.
I've been aware of this unhappiness for at least a year and I really feel for her - she's a lovely person, I like her alot.
Do I say something and if so how do I ask sensitively (there are children). I want to support her but don't want to make her uncomfortable if she doesn't want to talk.

She will confide in you if she wants to. I wouldn’t force it.

I think if you get the right moment, I would say, are you ok you seem a little bit down?

She will either say no, I am ok or she might take the opportunity to confide in you.

Just be there and listen should she chooses to confide in you. I do ask a friend who has a rocky relationship with her husband and older son how's it going, and she's usually honest. But other friends I'm not on that level of intimacy, but assume they know me well enough that I can lend a sympathetic ear if need be, and be discreet.

But there's nothing to suggest this woman 'has depression' -- the OP suggests she's in an unhappy marriage?

If she's been like this for a year perhaps that's just how she is. Some people like to let off a bit of steam and the fact that she does it more when she's had a bit to drink makes me think perhaps this is just her way.

This is what I would do.

Autistic spectrum - you have burnt her out, OP!!

I bet she's shut down due to overwhelm. Leave her alone for a good few hours - i'd go out on your own for a day and let her do her own thing.

If she returns to 'normal' after a break, that confirms it.

Not her fault, she'll be undiagnosed and won't know. Not your fault either of course. Bit of space and your hol will be back on track!!

Enjoy!