I have been with my current partner nearly 4 years, he has 3 kids from a previous partner and I have 1 from a previous relationship. My child’s father walked out when she was 1 week old and she will be 15 next month. So I was a single mum for 11 years. I ment my current partner and I belive now that I had very low boundaries due to not having a lot of relationship experience. We live in different towns and I see him roughly for 4 days a month, so I’m alone alot. However I work full time and manage my daughter who is very challenging as she has adhd autism and emotional processing disorder. He gaslights me when I try to talk to him about her as he believes his son who is 4 is ‘much worse’ in terms of ‘more emotional problems’ like it’s a competition. I have no support with my daughter and he doesn’t have any bond with her. I know I should have let the relationship go on this long with a guy who doesn’t engage with my child, he claims that I make no effort with his kids.. I work 3 weekends a month so I’m at work alot, aswell as weekdays. He doesn’t drive or work! He hasn’t worked in the whole time I have been with him. He lives off universal credit. When he comes to my home he will sit on his ass all day! I will go to work and come home and he will be wrapped up in a blanket whilst watching tv on my sofa. It doesn’t seem to bother him at all that he doesn’t work nor does he seem to hold any shame! He doesn’t even know how to drive nor does he have any plans to learn.. it’s really embarrassing that he sits in my passenger seat, smoking out my window whilst the ash flicks all over my dashboard! When he is at home he just sits on his ass all day. He lives off takeaways as he doesn’t cook.. he lives bang in the Center of a buisy town so he can’t even use the ‘I have to travel to find shops excuse’
as spring is hear on multiple times I have come home from work and I pull the lawnmower out my shed and I cut my grass (my garden is huge) he will not even attempt to come out and ask me if I need help. I flipped my lid and I said to him that I can’t handle him just coming here and sitting on his ass whilst I’m running around and going to work, cooking, cleaning . Driving and he became so aggressive, he called me every name under the sun.. he also said that if I was a man he would have broken my jaw! I just simply asked. In 4 years I have top toes as I’m really afraid of upsetting him because usually it leads to verbal abuse, him blocking me, then him activating his social media and adding loads of women.. as this is very upsetting I have just learned to keep my mouth shut. I just feel like I’m the man in this relationship, I employed my next door neighbour to help put up a fence.. I know what he was probably thinking and my family are really confused as to why I have to seek out people to help me with jobs when I have a partner.. also it’s been a year since my friend found his dating profile, he denied it but he had pics on there with his brand new tattoos that he got when we was together.. it was on match where it displays the users ‘last seen’ which was 24 hours when the account was discovered. But ofcorse he Denied. I’m just sick of his lazy ass.. has anyone else been with a man like this? I could understand if he was going out to work.. he doesn’t even bother with his kids, when they visit he doesn’t take them out and he feeds them takeaways. I’m growing to hate him.