How/when did you know you’d met “the one”?

[StarDownUnder]

Long time lurker but first post! I’m four months into a new relationship so could be honeymoon stage but would love to hear stories/opinions.

For context I moved overseas last year on a temporary visa just to move abroad, travel and do something I’d wanted to do for years. I’ve now met someone who lives here, his family are here, and we’ve moved quickly and talk about the future. He is such a genuine person, my friends here agree, I’ve met his family/parents and they speak so highly of him. I feel very lucky as he’s lovely and genuine. However - my family are back home (26 hours away) and I never envisioned staying here permanently. But now I can see myself building a life here - with him.
I guess I’m wondering / curious as to what made you realise your partner was who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? And did you change life plans for them? He’s said he’s already thought about moving back to my country if I wanted to down the line.

4 months is early to decide its forever. I suggest you continue to go with the flow for now. He might be the one, but you can't know him inside out yet, so just go with the flow until you've known him longer. If it's a visa issue that's rushing things, can you extend it, or maybe take him up on him moving back to your country, see how that goes, youll certainly get to know a lot about each other? If he wouldn't need a visa to move back with you and it doesn't impact his work plans, perhaps give that a go.

Oh god I don't think there was any particular moment - I just seemed to know instinctively that he was the right person for me?! I was happy being single and living on my own when we met. I now have a live-in DP and DSD which was not in my plans at all😂but I love them and wouldn't have it any other way 😊

I always think the sign of a really good relationship is when you bring the best out in each other. Of course there will be difficult - and bad! - times. But it's how you handle them and support each other throughout.

I was in a highly volatile (not abusive) and stressful relationship before this and my DP is just like a breath of fresh air after that. He brings out the calm in me and - as cliche as it sounds - makes me a better person.

We're best friends, have such a laugh together, respect and trust each other, have the same morals and values, love each other's families, put equal amounts of effort in to everything and most of all, are on the exact same page in terms of intimacy and sex. And I love him more with every day that passes.

I think ultimately @StarDownUnder you just know!

Go for it if you can - you only live once 😊

When I met my now DH I noticed it was very natural between us and I could talk to him about anything. We met mentally on the same level and I could just be myself. I didn't have to try to understand this and that, I didn't feel like something was missing. But even though I recognised these things I didn't let myself get carried away but I observed him ever my time we met, really concentrated on getting to know him and see that he has those traits and qualities I knew I need in a man. And after maybe 5 months down the line I let myself fall for him and I let myself think of future.

I knew as soon as I met him. He felt like coming home, I relaxed instantly. We're been together 3 years, and hand on heart it has been the easiest, best relationship I've ever had. He's kind and steady and thoughtful. He loves his family and thinks I'm amazing for some strange reason! The best place in the world is wrapped up in his arms, he is my best friend, my support and my lover.

Its only been 3 years so who knows - but I very very much want us to be forever as he is the one for me!

I met my DP on-line 18 months ago. The first few dates were a little bit stilted as he was being very respectful and I am a bit spikey until I get to know someone. However he had a lot of things in common with me and none of the baggage I was hoping to avoid. After 4 dates I sgguested going to his house thinking that worrying about when he might expect sex was bothering me so I figured it was best to just "get it over with". It was fab and we then lost the next 2 months as we didn't get out of bed really during that time. After about 4 months I realised he made me smile ALL the time. The sex was great. We communicated really well. I was 100% myself and open about my complexities (I have a DD and ASD). He was open about his past and so loving towards me whilst communicating really openly. I think about that point I realised I really liked him but I was not being sucked in to any love-bombing shit so I kept a little bit of my heart under-wraps until we'd been together 6 months. He met my DD and really liked her and it was mutual. 2 months ago he moved in with me and the upheaval was HARD for me. However I love having him here. He moves my hair off my forehead when it's getting in my eyes, he carries all the bags, he sorts out all the dishes, he hugs me a LOT, the sex is still fab, we have lots in common. I am gooey with happiness and a 48 year old divorcee so I don't think I am naive.

Enjoy your happy new relationship but do make sure that he has time to show all his true colours before you make any firm commitments.

Almost straightaway. We both just knew as soon as we met
We got engaged 6 months after meeting, married 18 months later. Didn't live together until we married though.
Celebrating our Silver Wedding Anniversary in 2 days!

It just felt so right and natural
We got each other immediately and seemed to just fit together. When we met i think we both knew within a coup of dates that we were destined to be together.
We've been through a lot over the years, tough times and amazing times including that I've been seriously ill twice snd he's alway been there for me, caring so much for me, loving and supporting me and our ds. What we've been through has only made ys stronger. We're perfect for each other.

Pretty much as soon as I met her - 10 months ago. Just instant attraction in so many ways. We just clicked straight away and had a weird thing where her aunt had known my MiL so had sent my son a card when he was born 15 years previously!!

Met kids quickly, told each other we loved each other after 3 weeks. She came away with me and kids for a few days on a whim.

Yes, it was very quick but it just felt right. No regrets. When you know you know. Like @SpringleDingle all those nice things are still there and gooey with happiness sums it up. Whenever I think of her I cannot stop smiling. Weird thing is that her daughter is more like me and my son more like her!!

As silly as it sounds, I knew my DH was the one within a few dates. He made me feel different than I had ever felt before and I could tell he was attracted to who I was. Our relationship is not perfect, but I am pretty sure I found the one for me.

I think these stories about people saying after a few dates are nice, and I'm glad it worked out, but I don't think you can genuinely know if someone is the right person until years into a relationship and you've endured adversity together. I recall a relationship counsellor laughing that 3 years was a long term relationship. Separately, I don't think there is 'the one'. I think you work on relationships, are more compatible with others and so on. I don't think my boyfriend is the only person for me ever though. If things ended, I hope we would both find others.

As soon as I met him. Inseparable ever since. Together 11 years and married 3. 🩷

It was just easy, there was no stress with dating him. Made me realise the phrase "he's just not that into you", when he is it's so different

There's a lot to unpick there. Not least how will your family meet him and how will you get back home. 4 months is very quick, you have only been abroad a year - so lots of new stuff and honeymoon feelings.

I lived abroad and it wasn't till my second year that I realised I missed home...

Enjoy it though, it's a lovely feeling, but don't make any quick decision - I think I took longer than 4 months to choose my new car.

Back to your question, I felt comfortable with him, but I think to a large extent after being single for a very long time (happily), I was ready to settle down and he was a good bet and he was also looking to settle down.

There's a Tim Minchin song called 'Face it, if it hadn't been you, it would have been somebody else' - about it being unlikely 'there's a one'.

I fully concur with those saying there isn't a "The One". I don't think I'd have been interested in my DP 20 years ago - our lifestyles would have been worlds apart. I am sure if I hadn't found him I'd eventually have found someone compatible who also wanted to be with me. However I am not one to always be looking for the next best thing and neither is he. I just love this feeling of being totally secure and completely loved. I am going to bask in it for as long as possible (we are making summer holiday plans tonight and I am really excited!)