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Relationships

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Understanding, coping and helping with partner's habits

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83jefylu · 20/05/2024 13:21

Afternoon all,

I'm hoping to get some help with my long term partner's habits. I'm sure there will be other people who have experienced the same, so any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

A little history to try and avoid dripfeeding.

She racked up over £10,000 on her credit card around 10 years ago, it spiralled out of control and so she could make some life changes I paid the balance off, this was on the terms that she'd no longer have a credit card, overdraft etc without us speaking about it first.

It might sound a little mean but it was a lot of money to me and it would seem like a total waste of time if she was to simply end up in this position again in a few years, especially as we wanted to buy a house together.

Anyway she agreed to this and it hasn't been much of an issue since. Although she, in my opinion, still spends a considerable amount every month on stuff she either will use once or never, but it's her money who am I to tell her what she should do.

Also, she has struggled to maintain her weight, and will often over eat or at least not know when enough is enough. I think this is the same with the spending, she gets carried away.

We had a little heart to heart last week and she admitted she uses food and buying things as a way of feeling better.

I guess it should have been obvious to me but as it's not something I've suffered with it's difficult to understand.

Can anyone give any words of wisdom, any advice?

Thank you

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