Exes stuff at my house - should I message or leave him alone?

[Charlie12023]

Hello, 🖐
I have been split from my ex since December last year and as I am moving house, I have noticed quite a few things of his still here, like quite an expensive bike pump, photos frames, huge mirror in attic etc, however he hasnt mentioned anything about it and he isnt speaking to me really, not that we hate one another, just not really interacting, would you let him know about all these things?? - my feeling is he just wont respond so maybe thats not a good or bad thing? I just dont want him to think I want to keep these things when they arent mine. Nor is it me reaching out for contact, its just they are expensive.

I guess I am expecting no reply, so at least I was kind enough perhaps to let him know, just trying to think what is right really!

thank you for reading 😁

It would be courteous to let him have an opportunity to reclaim his goods but give him a deadline to fetch it.

If he doesn’t reply, assume he doesn’t want the stuff. You could tell him that in your note. “Fetch it (by date) or lose it mate.”

I agree with @PashaMinaMio Easiest way to deal with it!

I would pop them in a box, message him with a photo of the items to say when you are free to pop for him to collect or ask him to arrange a courier or pop them to a friend/ family member if you know them and they aren't close, if they aren't collected by X date they'll go to the Charity shop.

I’d pack up the small items and dropped them off, or mailed them. With the note - let me know if ou want to fetch the mirror.

Agree with top comment. Give him a deadline and if he doesn't come then bin them, then at least then you've let him know and he can't say nothing

First comment nailed it.
Send him a text, email, whatever telling him he has some stuff there and if he want it he need to take it before a date otherwise you will dispose it.

This.

Just send him a text saying your moving house and what does he want you to do with his stuff and if he wants to come pick them up then arrange a date and time for him to come then have them ready to collect at the front door so he doesn't need to come into the house ...good luck

Message him and ask him to collect or drop them to him and leave them outside. Just let him know when. He doesn’t need to talk to you.

Hello, 🖐
I have been split from my ex since December last year and as I am moving
house, I have noticed quite a few things of his still here, like quite
an expensive bike pump, photos frames, huge mirror in attic etc,

Blimey, that sounds like a narcissist's essentials doesn't it.

Yeah, polite message asking if he needs them and to pick up sharpish, otherwise he could hold them over you for the hoover.

Text ‘there is a box of your stuff I found. I’ll leave it on the porch till Tuesday’

or give to a mutual friend. Or drop off at his family’s house.

or depending on your country after 30 days it’s legally yours. So. Stop feeling bad, or caring what he thinks or whatever.

Pop them in the bin.
It’s been 5 months if he wanted them he would have asked by now.

pop, pop, pop ! sorted !

14 days is considered enough time for tenants to collect their items once they’ve left (had to check this recently when I evicted my non-paying tenant) so I’d give him that much time, stuff in a box, keep any responses.