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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Newly single aged 38

1 reply

rft · 20/05/2024 00:31

Hi ladies,

I am a mother of two children aged 8 and 10 and have been solo parenting them since they were preschool aged. I was married to their father although we broke up on our first wedding anniversary when he told me family life wasn’t for him. I have had two relationships since … although have been extremely guarded with my children with the second chap becoming involved in their life on a limited basis. Second chap was a year younger than me and I was deeply on love and genuinely believed her was the one. Unfortunately , he had a bit a a wobble with this career (teacher) which caused him to become really sad and depressed. He ended our relationship a few months ago telling me he had to work on himself. Now I am a little lost. I want to prioritise my children’s happiness and stability but also don’t want to spend the next 40 years single. I am extremely fortunate to have a good income and my independence however I feel so lonely at times effectively doing everything solo with the children in a world designed for couples. Advice would be good. The idea of OLD makes me very nervous but it may be the only way as my time is limited and all of my work colleagues/old friends are married?

OP posts:
MamaMountain · 20/05/2024 01:15

I was a single Mum to a two year old when I first tried online dating. Wasn’t all smooth sailing, but I met a man on there, and 11 years later we’re still together and are about to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary. In the real world there is no way we would ever have crossed paths, as he didn’t (and still doesn’t) drink or go out, which is how I would usually have met someone back then. Then again, I was mostly stuck at home with my toddler back then. I was super nervous when I first started online dating, but I just eased myself in and chatted to each guy for a while until I felt ready to meet them, if of course I wanted to. I even made friends with a couple of the guys where the spark just wasn’t there for either of us. For a while, even just chatting on an evening to someone helped my loneliness. Either on call, texts or Skype. I did have some tears when things didn’t work out with a couple of guys, but then it eventually led me to my husband which I’m glad about. I’m 38 too and back then there were limited sites, these days there seems to be loads to choose from. Good luck OP!

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