Have you taken a break?

[Staceybeak]

I would like to know if anyone has taken a break in their relationship? And what are your thoughts on it? Instead of just ending it? I don’t know what to do..

I’m feeling the same. Wondering if a break will shock him into reality but I’d have to change my hours and it’s still damaging for the kids. But then struggling to just end it too.

Ask Ross and Rachel how that went...

I know exactly how you feel! I’ve been feeling this way a very long time, I just don’t want to be the person to take away the kids both parent household where we have a lot more money and they get everything they want to just staying with either parent on the odd days, it makes me so sad even thinking about that!
but I feel like I need some time on my own to think about what I want as it’s a very big decision

Yes, I left for about two weeks. He was sending sexting messages to a colleague. I found them and left the same day.

We spent that time thinking carefully about whether or not we wanted to continue. He was horrified by the reality of what his “ego stroking” has caused. It occurred to him very quickly that he didn’t want to split up/ leave/ actually be with his colleague.

I spent the time reflecting, probably more deeply, before deciding I did want to continue with our marriage. I agreed to give it 5 months. After 5 months, I felt we’d made progress- both of us- and have stayed.

We’ve talked and talked, reset boundaries and expectations, discussed how we see things in the future. We have a stronger sense of us and I’d say it marriage is better than it had been for a few years.

That’s kind of like my issue… he was going out with a female colleague (taking days off to go to the pub together) and not telling me, I had no idea. Was going on for months.

we have kids together and I stayed for them. It’s around a year later, I still don’t fully trust him, I thought I’d be over it by now but I’m just not. Im constantly in two minds about whether I should leave or not

Trust is the trickiest bit. I’m still very aware that I now know the extent to which he can lie, upfront just lie to my face. Tried to tell me that I hadn’t seen the messages that I knew I’d read. Told me I had read things wrong (no, it’s difficult to mis-read what was said).

Thats the bit we are now working to rebuild.I've told him that he blew that all away and that it’s still not back.

For me, it was a very practical decision based on very unromantic facts. After nearly thirty years together, I think there’s a lot of boring, practical stuff in a marriage that gets overlooked. We are working on putting the fun stuff back, paying attention and stepping back from the things we felt we “should” be doing.

It’s not necessarily an easy road and I know lots of people would take another path. But the break helped me sort out what I needed, what I wanted from our marriage and what was important to me in our marriage. I’m glad I took that time and space.