My partner (45F) and I (53M) have been together for 10 years and have a child who is 3.
Since the birth of our child I have felt that she is far less intimate with me and often not motivated to have sex. Recently she has told me that putting my arm around her in the night wakes her up. Have discussed my feelings with her for some time.
I am not the jealous type and have never been jealous in our 10 year relationship but she recently started dressing up extra, extra nice to go to work and I got suspicious. 3 days ago, I simply looked in an old heart shaped jewelry box that I found on the top bathroom shelf with old jewelry and written sexual fantasies that she had written with her previous boyfriend before me, that they used for a sex game together, describing sex acts they performed on each other etc. They were together 6 years.
She says that it is 15 years ago and that they are no longer in touch and I believe her but I was hurt that she kept those things and especially in our bathroom. It especially hurt me because it described intimacy that I feel is no longer in our relationship.
She swears that it is an old box and she did know that she had those written cards, which I find difficult to believe, especially since we moved 2 years ago, when she put the box there. She says that she should have hidden it better, in the cellar.
I was not happy to find what I found and it has questionned aspects of my relationship. She says that I am still going on about it 2/3 days later and it is unreasonable, that she loves me and that I am overreacting.
What should I do?