I meet a man through a family member last year we clicked straight away, what I did not know is that this man asked my relative if it was Ok to ask me out, my relative never told me this straight away they waited for a couple of months to tell me, anyway I said I was interested and to pass on my number, this relative and a friend of both my relative and this man started to sabotage us getting together, making up lies about about myself and this man to put us both of, at one point my relative told this man I did not have a mobile and would they would have to be go between it escalated to the point last year where I caught my relative and this other friend out and they admitted everything.
This man is divorced with kids and has custody, the relationship with his ex was abusive, mentally and physically and he has some scars, part of the divorce agreement was they live in the same house until it was sold, the house has now been sold and he moved out with his kids in March, another part of the divorce agreement which was what the ex wife wanted that they still go on holiday together and family meals, I think he just agreed to it at the time under stress, he has told my relative and this other friend that he thinks he can get the divorce agreement changed to take away the holidays and meals etc, I know he said that at the time of going through the divorce he thought he wouldn't meet anyone else and then he meet me. He has alot of low self esteem and confidence issues.
We never made any contact with each other, he knew when my birthday was but never did anything about it no card, nothing, we all agreed to meet up a social event but on the day this man found other things out that my relative and this other friend had been keeping from him, one of them being that I did have mobile all along. He also found out that this other friend had been sabotaging us getting together. I offered to meet this man or even speak to him over the phone and clear the air but my message was never passed on to this man.
It got to the point where things were just not getting anyway, and I made the decision to walk away from it. When this man found out, he came to see me but was upset when he saw outside and never approached me. Since December I have seen him about locally as we live near each other, our paths will cross as we are both connected to a local charity. I never approached him as he looked harassed and stressed as he was moving.
One of my relatives best friend who I am also friends with and have known for over 20 years has this man on their facebook and in April reached out to him to see where he is at if he is still interested in me, the guy said he was still interested in me and asked if I was on facebook, my friend said I was and gave him my number, and told me he was still interested in me, this guy sent me a facebook request which I accepted this was beginning of about 6th April and I havent had any communication of him either through facebook, messenger, whataspps or even a phone call or text.
My friend has said he has to make the first move but I am beginning to think what do I next. My friend has said he hasnt heard anything from this man and if he did he would tell me. Theres alot more what has gone on but I am now at a point of what to do.
One friend says he has to make the move, another one says he might be waiting for me to make the move and just send him a message and why should 2 people not be together just because other people dont like it.
Do I make a move and send him a message saying I am here when he's ready but because I know his background relationship I do not want to put any pressure on him and scare him off, plus he could be having issues the divorce, or he has changed his mind but he is still on my facebook, I dont want to come across as needy or clingy which I am not but I have to try and get on with my life.
Any advice?