Is anyone starting again (new area, no partner, no close friends)?

[startingoveragainagain]

I'm about to move to a new area, on my own (with my pets), i'm separating from my husband (although we've been split for over two years but living in the same house), all my close friends are an hour away.

Anyone any tips for how to make friends, how to get involved in the new area, if / when to start dating - basically how to start again? Extra points if anyone is in a similar boat and wants to share the journey?

I am in the same position! Although I have lived in my area a while and built my life up, but when I moved here I soon met someone who isolated me from all my friends - and the majority live an hour from where I am anyway.

Firstly if you work where you live then hopefully you can make friends through your new job. If not I would join your local areas facebook pages and maybe make a post saying you are new to the area and asking about any social events or clubs in the area (i'm sure you can post anonymously if you want to.) I think it's not too bad if you put yourself out there and are willing to go to groups and social events alone and are able to speak with people.
I know some dating apps have an option for making "friends" - I'm not sure how legit that is or if it's an excuse for people in relationships to be on the app but it may be worth a try.

I’ve found my people on this thread!

I lost 3 of my 4 besties in the past 2 years. 2 due to fallout from my marriage breakdown, and one died. The other has stage 4 cancer and lives 100 miles away.

In December 2022, I moved 120miles from my old home for a fresh start to somewhere I didn’t know anyone. DD’s uni is 25mins away but she’s on a placement 100 miles away next academic year.

I mostly work remotely, I have a couple of new acquaintances which might turn into friends if I make some effort but I’m really busy with building my freelancing. I work 7 days a week and can’t take my foot off the gas until I’m more secure, so I don’t have a lot of time or energy to devote to cultivating a social life.

It’s mostly just me and the dog! But I love my life now.

Joining the thread for tips!

@Didsomeonesaydogs I'm glad you're loving your life with your dog. I was feeling very brave up until recently, that my dogs were all I needed. But I think the reality of it just being us is starting to hit me.
I work from home most of the time too, my office is 40mins away and we don't go in very often.

@startingoveragainagain oh I can relate totally, and I have my wobbly moments (“what if I randomly break a limb?” 🙄) but I never actually regret moving away. There was little left for me in my old location.

I’ve joined the local WI so I have a few local acquaintances but I’m struggling to find people I have much in common with.

If you go dog walking a lot in the new area, many people naturally stop to admire the dog and talk to you. You will begin to see the same faces, especially if in a routine. I think that’s a nice gentle start to getting your bearings in a new area.

Apart from the ex (I'm single, always have been) I'm in a similar situation, OP. Moved interstate six years ago, living on my sister's property while caring for our mother. Moved back to Victoria after her arsehole husband decided he didn't want Mum on the property (he never even saw her, she was in our granny flat!). Moved into a retirement village in a city we'd never lived in. Three years on, Mum has gone into care and I'm at last on my own, apart from my two cats.

All this disruption has meant I've known nobody much, but the thing that changed it was joining a knitting group (obviously any craft/hobby/interest group would be the same). Regularly meeting people with something in common is the way to go for making friends, I've found. Volunteering may be another way to do it, if you have time. Can't advise on dating, I've never dated in my life and wouldn't start now!

That was me a few years back!
I tried to keep old friendships after I moved, they eventually fizzled out, most of them, reduced to once or twice a year meet ups.

I joined a book club, then a running club. Met lots of people walking the dog, I get on really well with a couple of other women I met this way, we now go on holiday together. I moved to a new estate and there’s always a neighbour around to talk to. I said yes to every invite, I think that’s the main thing.

I've done it three times.

Work is where I would start to look for friends. I know you said you mostly work from home but you could suggest a meet up one day.

If you have a dog you will probably mean meeting people on dog walks.

Yes to joining some group or other, I've done some short college courses and when I was able to, I did Ju Jitsu.

I agree with volunteering too.

Consider getting a lodger if you have room. The first time I did this I was working in the NHS so I had a room in the hospital accommodation so I was sharing a kitchen and a bathroom.

I moved somewhere I didn’t know anyone. Parkrun is one way to meet people - even if you don’t like running or walking - in fact you’re more likely to get to know people if you volunteer there (and go to the cafe afterwards). Also junior parkrun. Or like others said, a local knitting or gardening group. Any way of meeting people regularly - you can’t always make friends with someone the first time you meet them.

Thank you all. I'm a naturally chatty person, so I do talk to people while I'm out, but where I live now these have just been fairly superficial, but I'll need to make more effort to do things like Park Run and clubs.