When my sister is good and happy she's fantastic company but I know it won't last long and it means I'm always on edge when I'm with her.
We had some challenges in childhood but they have affected her adult life more it seems
She can't maintain any adult relationship. So is quite lonely. I really struggle to maintain ours.
After a few years of living independently (with ex partner) she's deeply dependent on our mum to coparent her child, financially and adult company, chores at her house etc.
Her daughter is a very sweet girl but a gentle style of parenting which for her means no boundaries is starting to have an affect on her behaviour. Addicted to smartphone and very impatient. It could be normal as I don't have this experience.
Our mum does her absolute best but it's diminishing her and she getting older and struggles parenting when my sister disengages. She hasn't made adjustments to her life much since her daughter and our mum has picked up the slack. Our mum still works. Baby dad gone and that's all still raw with nasty comments made Infront of niece who thinks the world of dad.
I want to spend time with my niece but sister is always ready for conflict and cannot do anything nice for the people who are doing a lot for her, it's like everyone owes her.
How should I be around her? How can I see niece and be a positive influence in her life while sister is defensive and hard to be around?