Been dating a guy from an app for 4 and a half months. He was showing consistent interest & we went out often. He always texted me a lot, wanted to talk on the phone, initiated dates & hangouts. Didn't immediately pressure me to sleep with him. We had similar interests & passions, like an ideal match. He said he'd be open to a threesome but dropped the topic and apologized after I said I wasn't into that.W e started hanging out more at his place, slept together after 2 months (my 1st time). Introduced me to his friends & one day asked for a relationship, I agreed. He said he'd never felt so good with anyone. He added he wouldn't cheat on me so it seemed like an exclusive deal.
Over time he started showing red flags and I started to pick fights as he often travelled with his friends without me & made excuses. Sometimes he behaved in a disrespectful way and tried to show he was better than me in some areas. He mentioned he wants to travel to a small town by the seaside with his friends in the summer for 2 weeks & they'll go to a club like they do every year. I wanted to be included, especially after I heard 'a club and drinking' which is a good occasion to cheat. Also, leaving his gf for 2 weeks? Too long for me.
Recently we had an argument (one of many). I said he should compromise & take me with him for the holiday or not go. He disagreed & said we're not together, that I'm not his girlfriend but we're 'dating' & we're not officially a couple since we haven't had that talk & because I don't trust him at all. Umm.. he'd asked to be in a relationship first.. I thought everything was official.
He said I was too controlling & that I always have pretences & don't care about him. He said we were not close enough to be bf/gf as we didn't see each other/call/text enough & said he felt uneasy that I treat it as if we're already a boyfriend & girlfriend. He added a girlfriend wouldn't start fights & would ask if he was ok instead. Then he said something awful. I told him if he loved me he'd take me with him & he replied it's too early for him to love yet & he needs time. What? Before he asked to be in a relationship and I said 'then let's say we are'. He's been acting like a boyfriend all the way until I started that fight. I was sure we were together. I think around 5 months is enough to know how he feels about me.
I don't understand why he said so & I feel very hurt. Was he just trying to break up with me indirectly or did he want to hurt me? I got so upset that I unfriended him on one social media platform. I had asked if it was fwb for him and he didn't say yes, just that according to him we didn't act close enough for him to make it official. I am confused and don't know where I stand, don't know what to do anymore, especially after being told there's no love yet. I left him on read and we haven't contacted each other for days now. Did he only use me for sex and companionship?