Trust issues or my gut instinct is right??

[HeLovesMeHeLovesMeNott]

Hi
so I’ve been with my partner for 8 months very new relationship I have one son from my previous marriage who gets on great with my partner. However, my gut is telling me something is wrong and I can’t shake this feeling. I struggle to trust men after a really messy 13 year long relationship where physical emotional and financial abuse was present and numerous different women resulting in him getting one pregnant whilst still with me, then the messy divorce that followed left me in quite a lot of debt and a nervous wreck I still struggle to believe someone I loved could treat me the way my ex husband did and we have been separated for 7 years. He sees my son they have a good relationship my son is 18. I am now fully out of debt it’s taken me years I don’t own a lot but what I do own is mine and I have a nice life with my child I work full time.
back to my current situation I have been single three years after a two year relationship ended I was ok being single, met my current partner and got swept off my feet he’s amazing in many ways. He told me at the start he’s never been faithful in any of his relationships his whole life not even to the mother of his children but that he is a changed man he had learnt how bad he was and he was selfish etc but I can’t get past this why am I any different? Why wouldn’t he cheat on me? We spend a lot of time together not every night but say 4-5 nights a week but on the nights he’s at his the next day he’s either sending me messages about how he loves me so much and can’t wait to see me or he’s distant. I find this strange like a guilty conscience, Yesterday he came to my house after work and we were making food we were talking about vitamin D and he said you only get vitamin d from me don’t you? I said yes of course. Twice he asked me who text me on my phone and then he said what are you doing on your phone? But Thursday morning he woke up in a bad mood and snapped at me saying did you go through my phone? I said no I didn’t he accepted this because I won’t ever go through anyone’s phone and left without saying bye then text me and said how sorry he was for snapping it was because he opened his phone to a new tab that wasn’t there the night before then changed this to my battery hadn’t charged. Other things he has taken to his Xbox for hours at a time all of a sudden not something that interests me but everyone should have a hobby anyway he won’t talk to me while he’s playing says he can’t message etc but today he said that he messages ppl on the game through an app on his phone! Back to last night I just asked him out right why do you keep asking about my phone have you been messaging someone I feel like you’ve got a guilt conscience and he said I’m not going to sit here with someone who doesn’t trust me etc. so he went home. I’ve just got a nagging feeling and I can’t explain it. Is it me am I the issue I want to be happy ideally with him but are my trust issues going to ruin this?

Your gut doesn't lie.
Get rid of him.

Yeah he's either shagging about or looking to.

When they are cheating they tend accuse you of cheating/being disloyal. Or accuse you of not trusting them.

All pretty textbook.
As is him engineering arguments so he can storm out (controlling behaviour, plus, a set up for 'we were on a break').

And your gut is telling you something is wrong too.

Well done for sensing things.
Time to call it a day. Dump.

Get rid. Your gut instinct is right. He's bad news, lying, cheating, suspicious and controlling. Nothing's going to improve. That "I've changed" line is bullshit, as you've realised.

This. My boyfriend would never say this and was faithful to his wife (she died) for 30 years.

Your gut thoughts as you have expressed them seem very clear to me.

I would trust yourself and his actions, not his words, which seem to be contradictory.

I would start planning to end the relationship before you get in further and deeper.
I am also sceptical that a prolific cheater just suddenly stops because he has “met the one”. It’s a very romantic idea (and I love reading romances) but this does not happen in reality.

Basically he’s exactly the same as your ex. Don’t go there again.

I would sack him on the Vitamin D comment alone.

WTF is he even on about?

You don't get Vitamin D from sex unless you are shagging outdoors in the sunshine.
What. A. Knobhead 🤨

Trust your gut. This guy is no good at all.

When they tell you who they are, believe them. He told you at the start he always cheated because he knows one day he'll have to turn round and say 'well you KNEW what I was like because I told you'.

The whole prestenting you as if you're somehow special, on a pedestal, and he'd never cheat on you is standard 'you're different from any other woman I've met/you're the only one who understands me' bullshit lovebombing. Designed to make you feel special to him and rush you into trusting him more. He's a fraud and your gut knows it.

Lying cheating love bombing manipulator preying on the fact you’re vulnerable.

He will 💯 cheat on you if he hasn’t already as he seems incapable of keeping it in his trousers.

And always remember when they accuse you of cheating, it’s because they are.

Get rid and do the freedom programme to learn better boundaries and be more aware of obvious red flags.

Sounds like your trust issues are issues trusting yourself not him. You are right to feel off you have to listen to yourself and act accordingly. Walk away. Your radar is spot on!