Hi. I just need to vent here I think so I'm sorry in advance if its rambling.
My husband locked me and my daughter out of our home last night and left the key in the door so we couldn't get back in. (We had somewhere safe to go overnight at least).
This started from an argument about me talking to a work colleague that he hates the day before yesterday.
My husband and I work together and got together during covid as the result of an affair on my part. (I understand that he is insecure regarding this but he knew full well that I was in a relatiinship and this didn't stop him)
I have to speak to this person for my job and don't usually have a chat with him about 'normal' things because I know that hubs hates it but occasionally I will and join in with a chat in the office (with other people there too, this is never one on one chats). My hubs can see me from where his workspace is and will always ask what the colleague wanted. He hates this person with a passion as he feels he is a bully has a bad attitude and lies. The argument started as I mentioned to him that this person had told me something but hubs says that he had told him the opposite so obviously he was lying to me because he wanted me to think well of him. This descended into chaos with him accusing me of flirting with all of our colleagues. For the record we work in a very male orientated profession and 'banter' has occurred in the past (I am not the only woman who works here) but nothing that I would consider flirting. I do not speak or act in the same way now because of my hubs.
I ended up telling him that I will speak to who i want to and about whatever I choose to which he told me that I was ' some wife'. To avoid this escalating in the house when we got home, I immediately got into drivers seat and drove away with my daughter. (She overheard the argument, I am aware how awful this is). I did also turn off my location tracking and online status because I was mad and petty. I know this is childish. We went to a shopping centre and had some food. During this my husband is messaging me saying that I must be s**wing' someone to make him feel bad or talking ALL the men I have on my Facebook account. He then told me to stay wherever I was and that the door was locked.
When me and my daughter got home we found that he had left the key in the door so we couldn't unlock it. I was furious. To do that to me is one thing but to my daughter too is so bad. I didn't phone him because I knew I'd go mad and I didn't want him to get the satisfaction of us having to request to be let in so we came to my parents house who are out of town. I messaged him when we got here and told him where we were and asked him if he was proud of himself for doing that to us both. He ignore me until this morning. He has said that I'm trying to guilt him into feeling bad and that I should have phoned so it's my fault my daughter was upset. He doesn't see how awful what he did was. He has since continued the argument regarding the person at work.
I'm done with this. So much so that I'll be requesting a transfer to another site at work and failing that, applying for a new job. He has now told me that we'll have to sell our new car as this is the car for commuting and the other vehicle we have is purely for leisure.
I feel like he's trying to manipulate me all the time. He never explicitly tells me that I can't do something but his actions make it very clear that that's not OK. His locking me out feels like a massive power play and that my home security is only reliant on him and he can hold this over my head if I don't do what he wants and now a financial manipulation with the cars so that I don't leave where we work, he now added to me leaving where we work to include the impact it will have on our relationship, saying that we'll argue more etc.
I don't know what to do. I know how bad this looks.
If I'm the one who's in the wrong here please tell me so i can work at changing that.