Would you keep secret from husband if asked?

[Picklesjar20]

If your DM offloaded and blurted out secrets in regards to serious illness in family, legal issues, finances, domestic abuse. Loads of serious problems in regards to immediate family members. Which essentially impact everyone and us. Then told you to not tell a soul not even husband.

Are you meant to do that? It will come out eventually..you cant hide death a possible lawsuit and bankruptcy ect.

But my husband is getting mad at my family thinking they are rude..but given the actual reasoning..they aren't.

I don't like keeping secrets and my DH and I are honest about everything. But its not my secret and im not sure what the moral thing to do is? Do i keep secret or confide in DH?

Obviously as its a secret i wasn't meant to be told either :/

I kept a secret from my husband once and he went mental when he found out.

The next time I was asked to keep a secret (by a different person) I did tell him and I wish I hadn't.

I will continue to keep secrets again if asked. Hopefully he just won't find out.

Both people don't know that he knows.

I would always think that keeping something quiet should mean ‘keeping it quiet from everyone apart from your spouse’.

I'm.amazed that some people would break a confidence just so that they weren't keeping something from their spouse.

Can people really not see the difference between keeping a secret from a partner and keeping someone else's confidence?

When a person asks to tell me something in confidence, I make it crystal clear that no hint of it will ever leave my lips, UNLESS...
It has an effect on other people, or involves wrong doing or illegality, or isn't their news to share. Those secrets I will always tell to the appropriate audience. Other stuff, personal opinions, things in the past which affect nobody, etc etc etc, will go with me to my grave. Not even my husband will hear.
Just be very clear.

I'd keep a secret from anyone just for fun and to keep my hand in. BUT, if - as in this case - someone was effectively asking me to turn a blind eye to something that could impact my child's safety, that's a hard no.

You've done the right thing in telling him.

It depends. Its important to keep a secret, but when it has an impact on you or your spouse your loyalty is to them first and foremost. There is a world of difference between a friend telling you their marital/DC/elderly parent issues in confidence and a family member trauma dumping and accidentally triangulating you from your DH in the process.

I'd go back to the DM and be honest, say people's behaviour is having an impact on DH, he suspects something is going on but without knowing the facts is drawing the wrong conclusions, its affecting your home life and that's not OK. Nothing confrontational but give them a heads up. Then give him a factual outline of what's going on but dispel any intrigue, as it's not your story to tell.

I'd tell him if it directly impacted his life. So if he was guarantor for the person going bankrupt for example. Otherwise I'd not see the need to betray someone else. I'd just tell my DP they weren't rude there were issues but it wasn't my story to tell. My DP would respect that.