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Relationships

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Original poster

would you renew your wedding vows? if so why would you do it?

32 replies

kerryk · 04/04/2008 13:01

a friend of mine has been married 3 years and has decided to renew her vows with her husband, i just dont get it.

i can understand why some people might want to do it to start afresh after a affair or seperation or even after suffering a life changing situation, but why do it after only 3 years together.

i dont mean this to be bitchy in the slightest i am honestly curious as to why some people decide to do it, and if you do it so soon after getting married do you carry on doing it every few years?

OP posts:

lilolilmanchester · 04/04/2008 13:03

I'm thinking about doing it for our silver wedding, but that's a bit longer than 3 years. They'll have their own reasons for wanting to do it - best just to be pleased for them and not ask too many questions!

Alambil · 04/04/2008 13:05

My parents are considering it - they've had a turbulent time in the last 10 yrs and come through the other side. It's their 27th anniversary today and I think they're considering it for their 30th or something...

3 years seems a bit... odd?

Original poster

kerryk · 04/04/2008 13:08

i am pleased for them if its what they want, i just wondered if other people had done this also, its not something i had ever thought about before (and really cant see myself doing)

lewisfan i understand why your parents would think bout doing that, my parents went to las vegas for there 30th anniversary and my dad was desperate to renew there vows in front of elvis but my mum was having none of it.

OP posts:

onlyjoking9329 · 04/04/2008 13:11

surely it is good thing?
it issomething we have talked about but. Not sure if we will get round to it

harleyd · 04/04/2008 13:12

hell im sorry i did it first time round..

ArcticRoll · 04/04/2008 13:12

I don't understand why people do it tbh.

FioFio · 04/04/2008 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gonaenodaethat · 04/04/2008 13:24

I think some people do it because they were skint when they got married and want to have the 'Big Day' now that they are more financially secure.

Why not? It's not for me though.

Anniegetyourgun · 04/04/2008 13:52

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm with harleyd on this.

branflake81 · 04/04/2008 14:01

I can see why you would do it if you'd separated and then got back together or something. Or - at a push - if you'd been married 50 years but do not see the point AT ALL just doing it for the hell of it.

FasterPussyCatGrrrl · 04/04/2008 14:05

i'd like to in a few years, although i've been married under a year.

we had a very low key wedding, i was pregnant, and DS1 came on 'honeymoon' with us (so there was no sex)

i want to go to Vegas, renew our vows with Elvis, get hammered etc. without the kids there, just for fun.

waffletrees · 04/04/2008 14:50

TBH couldn't be arsed - would rather spend the money on something else.

osyth · 04/04/2008 14:57

Maybe one of them has had an affair and they want to remake the committment to each other or maybe they had such a fantastic day that they want to do it again. It is a bit odd to invite people though.

Dh and I are planning renewing our vows for our 25th anniversary but 25 years seems more of a big deal than 3.

cheesesarnie · 04/04/2008 14:59

nope.cant understand why.even if ones had affair-probably more so

Oblomov · 04/04/2008 15:16

No, I don't really understand why people do it.

marina · 04/04/2008 15:21

Maybe for Silver Wedding...
Could they have had some major crisis to weather together that you are unaware of though kerryk?

SparklyGothKat · 04/04/2008 15:25

We wanted to renew our vows last year at 10 years, because we had a very basic wedding and wanted a big do, but I was pregnant last year, so didn't do it. We will do it in a few years

terramum · 04/04/2008 15:36

I'd like to do at some point...partly to get everything just right this time & also to have an excuse for a good party with all my friends & relations who I haven't seen for years. The only time the old uni crowd ever get together properly is for a wedding these days

lemonstartree · 04/04/2008 16:04

I can see why some people do t. My dh and I seperated for 6 months last year, whilst he sorted out hs drug problem. at the time I thought the seperation was permenant. Now we have decided to try amnd make our marriage work I have considered whether we should renew our vows. would do it very privately though. Just me , him and the kids I think , if we did.

stirlingmum · 04/04/2008 16:27

We are considering re-doing our vows, mainly because h had an affair and we are slowly rebuilding our relationship.
I have removed my wedding ring and will only put a ring back on when I feel he is totally committed to me/us.
We have been married for 15 yrs though. We would just do it very privately, with just the dc there. I dont feel it is anything to do with anyone else.
I must admit that before this period in my life I thought like you that there wasn't much point in re-doing vows but I think it would help us alot.
Dc ask alot why they weren't at original wedding so we could tell them that it is for them (and for the champagne of course!)

Pheebe · 04/04/2008 16:46

I'd consider it just because I think when you first get married you're (or at least ! was) quite naive, don't really get what it all means etc. Also as times gone on I love him so much more it would be lovely to formally show and reaffirm that that again (more so than giving him to sons . Having said that I wouldn't want to throw a big party about it, just go off somewhere the two of us and have a blessing ceremony or some such

LilRedWG · 04/04/2008 16:51

No, I really wouldn't. I made my vows for life and do not see the need to renew them. DH and I know what we have promised each other before our family, friends and God.

That being said, when DH lost his wedding ring (just over a year after we got married) and we asked the vicar to bless his ring, the vicar not only blessed the ring but also did that whole part of the service again. The only witness to this was my MIL (she cried LOL) as she was staying with us for the weekend and we were all dressed in jeans.

Original poster

kerryk · 04/04/2008 17:12

that sounds lovely lilred, i would never have thought about getting a ring blessed.

the only thing that makes me want to renew our vows is that because of dh's job we could use st. margarets chapel at edinburgh castle, but i dont feel that is a very good reason and cant see the minister going for it

OP posts:

TheFallenMadonna · 04/04/2008 17:15

My grandparents did for their golden wedding anniversary. It was lovely, and Grandad got a wedding ring, which he never removed.

3 years? No.

TLV · 04/04/2008 19:33

dh wants to do this, we split up though and are now working things out, it was his suggestion not mine infact it never even crossed my mind and we've been married 5yrs, suppose under the circumstances I can see why he suggested it

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