In order to not drop feed, I’m 52, have teenage kids and together with husband 30 years, married for over 20.
We’ve had a lot of stress the past 5 years. His parents haven’t been well, our kids have had the usual teenage issues plus one with mental health issues.
MIL died recently but so did my DF. So, obviously not a time for deep discussions or harsh decisions to be made.
I just feel, slowly over the past 4 years or so, we’ve grown apart. With his responsibility towards his DPs and caught up with the kids, I feel we haven’t much left. I love him, I just don’t feel close to him. Since our parents deaths, I feel even further apart. I can’t talk about my DF and I feel he’s holding back about his DM ( they both passed within a week of each other)
it’s a mess. I feel I haven’t been a priority for him in a long time
He sees me as strong person, I don’t feel strong right now, or for a long time, I feel he prioritises everything above me. Like his family, his job, his hobby, the kids. I feel I’m very far down.
I can’t bring it up now, as we are both grieving but when do I bring it up? How long is long enough after a death to bring this up?
I don’t want to be insensitive but I know we are growing further apart as time goes on.
Im crying writing this, I don’t want to leave him but I need to be someone’s priority and to feel like I matter. Right now, I feel neither.