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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So confused

1 reply

Dave181 · 17/05/2024 13:46

Hi,
I’m having trouble with how I’m reacting to my relationship and I’m concerned. Several years ago my 20+ years wife had an affair and our marriage ended, I’ve since met a wonderful lady and have had years of happiness without trust issues even though we live some distance apart. However after I witnessed what was possibly harmless flirting a month ago I've began to be aware i think of a problem brewing. Ahead of the incident she often mentioned this guy and continued to mention him after for a short while until she became aware that I was unhappy, since then his name hasn’t come up once but now I’m feeling she is being distant, maybe not even intentionally but I feel like I’m on high alert. I’m worried that even if it’s all in my mind I’ll eventually damage the relationship with my doubts. We are on the verge of moving in with each other and I’m worried this will derail everything. The whole thing is reminding me of my old marriage but I can’t seem to ignore my gut. I’m even starting to wonder if I’m aware of something she’s not even seeing herself yet. I can’t settle on if she’s not investing as much time in our relationship or that I’m just being needy due to my panicking concerns.

OP posts:
Dadjoke007 · 17/05/2024 14:02

Could be a bot of both - I have some good female friends and nothing to fear there. Be honest with her about your concerns.

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