I was seeing someone for 15 months but called it quits because he was still involved with his ex, who he shares a DD with aged 5. They broke up 3 years before I came on the scene and would always do family things together. At first I thought this was a great coparenting relationship, until it transpired he was sleeping there frequently, as well as FaceTimeing his ex for a couple of hours frequently when DD was in bed.
I seen the signs and voiced my concerns, not about the co parenting as that's not my business, but about the long calls and him sleeping there. Over time it became more frequent and she began telling him she still loved him when he eventually asked if I could meet DD. He cheated on me and they got back together.
Fast forward to 6 months on, I have no desire to be with him and am pretty much over it. Partly my own fault for ignoring my instincts. However, I recently found a folder on my phone with all these texts messages that his number diverts to. I do occasionally have missed calls off a private number, to which I don't answer and just presumed it's a scam call however, I now believe it's him.
It transpires he's been sending messages saying he still loves me, misses me and wishes we could go back and fix it. Other messages asking if I can respond and can we start again. Just message after message of him saying he wanted to be a happy family but he thinks of me all the time. After finding them, I did respond saying he had made his choice and I don't wish to reconcile with him, wished him well and didn't respond. However, he has again messaged similar. I don't understand why people do this, because I know for a fact if I asked him back (I never would btw) that he would suddenly stall and not want to, so why bother with the long, drawn out, heart felt messages.
Is it that some people are only happy when they feel depressed, like a safety net? Or is he hoping I'll hang around in case it goes wrong? Personally I feel this behaviour is very manipulative and almost abusive, as to others it could be emotionally damaging. But seriously, what is the twisted mentality behind this behaviour?