Ended it today, how to not fall apart and go back, pls some advice?

[SwearsbyNothing]

That's it really. I realised he is not who I thought he was, I was probably love bombed. I've had my barriers up for so many years, let them down, and feel he has broken me.

I would just like advice on how to move on, not fall apart and to stay no contact.

I've already blocked and then unblocked several times. I'm a mess

Good luck op, stay strong. How long were you together? What made you decide enough was enough?

I don't trust him is the crux of it.

Any tips anyone?

Put your phone in a different room

Put something distracting on TV

If you have a glass of wine (or other alcoholic beverage) turn the phone off and browse internet on laptop

He hasn't broken you, you will feel much better by next weekend.

He's just one awful man on this planet of billions.

Thanks, taking all those on board :)

Ok well if trust is the crux of it, I was going to say everytime you want to reach out to him, just remind yourself that you cannot trust him.
Easy said then done I know , or write a pros and cons list.
So simple, however a couple if years ago I have a very strong trauma bond with a man I couldnt seen to break A friend that worked as a counsellor suggested this to me.
It wasnt until I saw how long the cons list was compared to the pros and the pros were very silly things compared to the cons massive things that have a huge knock on effect on self esteem, arguments, etc for example: I dont trust this man.

My other tip would be keep as busy as you possibly can, new hobbies are great for this .

• sorry for the typos, I'm sure you get the gist op , good luck 💐 you can do this

You need to block and stay blocked. Took me 3 months.

And get distracted - busy, with friends. If you're not, you'll unblock, go backwards....

Yep I did unblock and through came the calls (went unanswered) and messages from him, which I have not responded to

Says now he has spoken to counsellor can see my point of view....

I’m right here with you, I ended things last night.

I think I’ve also been a victim of love bombing, and I know he’s unlikely to leave me alone to mourn the relationship in peace.

Best of luck OP, it’s going to be a long weekend I think 🤜

I agree with the person that said every time you consider getting back with him remind yourself you can’t trust him.

It doesn’t matter if he says he is going to counselling and can now see your POV.
You can’t trust him so why would you trust this?

Every lying ex says “I’ll go to therapy.” Incase you didn’t know. I would say it is the MOST POPULAR lie to get you to go back.

Sorry to hear you are going through this too. Have you made some weekend plans? We were supposed to be going away this weekend so I'm now making alternative plans. Nothing too exciting but working on my garden is definitely one as I've let all home stuff slip from spending every non working minute with him.

It's really hard isn't it. I had been single for so long and was over the moon to finally find a connection again, but better to get out now rather than further down the line

I read a book called Getting through your break up which was amazing. I read it every day until I felt better.

Thank you, I've just looked on Amazon for this - can find book with similar titles but not exactly the same, can you remember the author pls?

@SwearsbyNothing no I haven't made any plans, I'm the sort to sit and lick my wounds for a few weeks, I feel it helps me move on quicker. I do have a lot of work to do in my house, so I won't be moping all weekend.

I've already saw mine this morning, he drove past me as I was walking into work (he works around the corner) luckily I saw him coming so managed to look like I was busy and nonchalant 😎