Disappeared/runaway fathers

[VeryUnlikely]

Are there any more of us on here? There must be a few. I am one. I'd like to talk about it. x

My father left me at a young age, from what I know he left my mother for another women, it really messed my mum up, I kind of feel when I was younger she would take her frustrations out on me more than my sister's because I was a boy.

She calmed down when I got older, however I think it mentally broke her.

Yep me. He left when I was 18 months and before my brother was born. I met the bastard in my early 20s, fell for his BS, but he showed his true colours eventually. (He was in the BNP for one!) He is rotting in a dementia home as we speak, not one of his 5 children, whom he abandoned speak to him. He will die alone.

Play shit games, win shit prizes! :)

Geez! That sounds a little heartless

No it doesn’t.

No wonder the West is falling apart! A society obsessed with revenge

Me! Left for the OW without a backward glance when I was 3 months old. Kept paying the mortgage for a couple of years then stopped without a word so we were evicted. Fiddled the books at his own company so his 'salary' that child maintenance was based on was barely minimum wage. Meanwhile big house, private school and luxury holidays for my half-sibling.

Saw him again in my late teens, in contact for a bit and then I decided he brought nothing to my life and stepped away.

I hear from family that (now the OW has died) he's sad and regretful and crying over it. Tough cookies. I'll never willingly see him again. I'm pregnant and he'll never meet my child.

As the PP said; play shit games, win shit prizes.

The west isn’t falling apart and the above poster doesn’t owe her ‘father’ anything. You sound like you need to calm down.

Sorry for derailing, OP- I was just jumping in to defend a poster! I’m sorry this happened to you.

I expect there are a lot of abandoned mothers and affected children. We don't come up very much. As as talking point. Gordon Brown was talking about single mothers on R4 this morning...how we all weant to work longer hours. I just wonder where the fathers are. Because my son's father did a runner when he was tiny.

I think women should be able to hand their children back in some circumstances. To the father I mean.

I didn't say anything against the poster I was saying to the commentator who said "now he's rotting with dementia" and then refering to it as a prize.

It doesn't sound like revenge, it sounds like total disinterest in a total cunt.

The West isn't falling apart .? You should travel more. 😂

I love my son. He is my everything. But it's the principle isn't it. He has to live with the rejection and no father. He has needed counselling and all sorts of interventions. All for the good I should say. But his father is just able to go and live abroad etc. Why? Why does the law allow it? If I stole a mars bar on CCTV or filled my car with petrol I'd be caught... but you can abandon a child and there are no consequences. I don't mind because I love my son. But I do think women should seriously start a new movement and be like suffragettes: start radically abandoning their children to the fathers. Radical non parenting.

Just because the man leaves...are the women legally responsible? What is the law on this? If my husband abandons me, can I also abandon? What is the law? There are many excellent lawyers on muymsnet. What is the law on this?

I don't think that would work, for all my mother flaws and her hatred towards my father, one thing I do know is he would have given her life for us.

Most mothers I know are like that. As for an overhaul on how the court system deals with men who abandon their children. Absolutely! Hit them where it hurts, their wallets.

I never said the West was falling apart because it, I said it was falling apart as our society basis it's culture on having a revenge mindset.

"I don't think that would work, for all my mother flaws and her hatred towards my father, one thing I do know is he would have given her life for us."
Moonlight, I don't understant this.

Being seriously let down by any parent is hard. I hope you are ok.

I do not have revenge mindset. I hope you are ok.x

Good on you!

Sorry I made a few spelling mistakes, I meant to say that all single mothers I know including my own mother would rather die then give up their own child.

I think you made a good point with overhauling the legal system so it actually punishes fathers who abandon/neglect their children.

It's far too easy for them to do, my mother didn't receive a penny from our father, she never asked him for money, mainly because she knew it would be more trouble than it was worth.

I think custodial sentences and mandatory child care & support is required. A father legally has to provide financial support for their children but if he chooses not to then the court system often fails to take action. The system as a whole is geared against single mothers.

I'm doing well! My mother had her flaws when raising us but she was practically superwoman in how she cared, loved and supported us.

I feel when he left her, it mentally broke her, she lost trust in men and trust in the British legal system.

Hope you are ok. 🙂

Agree. Totally. So, Women ned to harden up: Leave their kids on the doorsteps of the dad...comprehensive files, photos, journals, records, photos, birth certificates, recorded iphone interviews with friends and family, notify police- in fact even better, get the police involved and get the police to hand over the child. It has to be radical noin-parenting. Heartbreaking but nothing will change otherwise.

Me. He left when I was a few months old (thank god - he was a violent abusive drunk). I saw him v occasionally because his sister lived down the road, but he never took me out or did things with me. Never paid a penny child support, never sent a card for birthday or Christmas. I was raised in poverty while he swanned round as an actor and model, living a life of total self indulgence and having a number of other children along the way.

I used to just think ah, fuck him, but as I've got older and seen what a lovely thing a good dad can be, I have felt a sense of loss.